


The Mess You Left

by Lady_Jane666



Category: The Good Fight (TV), The Good Wife (TV)
Genre: AU, Extramarital Affairs, F/M, Family Drama, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Will still dies, plot twist: will has a family too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-05-18 11:17:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 31,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19333456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Jane666/pseuds/Lady_Jane666
Summary: AU - ReImagining of the whole Will/Alicia affair and the backlash... and like everything -Basically this is my overly complex, horribly self indulgent, answer to my own question of "What would have happened if Will had a family too." As the title implies... it was quite a mess.((I am really horrible at summaries, please just give it a chance...))





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> SO AU it’s not even funny but it’s my self indulgent nonsense so oh well. I love Will Gardner. I always wondered what if he had a family how things and dynamics would change or not. So before we start I want to establish a few quick facts for this “world” so you guys, can just understand the timeline and world we are walking into. 
> 
> Will is still killed as he was in episode 5x15  
> Will and Alicia still had an affair.  
> Will and Claire were together for 3 years prior to season one and together at the time of his death.  
> Olivia was born several months before the events of Season One.  
> This would make Olivia 6 years old at the time of the “present of this story”  
> I fudged with the timelines a bit as well, Florrick/Agos will last a bit longer in this story than it did on the show and the split happens a smidge earlier as well... 
> 
> This story is told in one part in the the “present” and much of Claire and Will’s relationship is told through flashbacks as Will has been dead one year at the start of this story. Any flashbacks will be noted with time related to Will's death.

 

Present -  1 year, 2 weeks, 4 days after Will’s Murder

 

It’s never a comfortable position to be in, sitting in a waiting area of a lawyers office looking for help in an unimaginable situation. It was one that Claire never expected to be in and it showed on her pale face. She shifted in her seat as her cool blue eyes darted around the room. Her heart pounding in her chest as her hands shook as she tried to smooth her skirt. Her eyes were fixed on the organized chaos around her, watching some familiar faces and some new ones scurry around the office.

 

There were several reasons Claire was uncomfortable. The first being, she had sworn a little over a year ago that she would never set foot through the doors of what was Lockhart/Gardner after  _ he _ was killed ever again. Her cold eyes caught the new name on the wall, “It’s not called that any more..” Claire murmured as she shifted in her chair taking a long deep breath.  The second reason being that even though she was a fairly capable lawyer in her own right, she may have gotten herself into something was beyond her depth. Claire needed help and there was one person could turn to, and it meant coming back to this place.

 

A young woman, bright eyed and blonde, came out with a headset on and stack of papers in her hands. “Ms Lockhart will see you now, Mrs. Gardner.” she said in a rushed tone but with as professional smile as Claire stood up and nodded nervously as she gripped her purse. “Do you know the way?” 

 

“Yes, I think I remember…” Claire’s voice was filled with the weight of the memories she had of working as Will Gardner’s assistant when she was barely 21 years old, going to night classes to finish her degree. He was more than just her boss, for many years he was her world. He was the reason she went into the law and he loved her deeply, in his own way. Their relationship had its ups and downs over it’s tenuous, on again off again, 8 year run. They even had very hastily married only weeks before his death, in an earnest attempt to cement the permanence of their relationship not only to themselves but the people around them as well. Even up till the moment she got the call from Diane, Claire held out hope that Will Gardner was going to be her happily ever after. 

 

Just the walk down the all too familiar hallway was drastically different knowing he was gone. There wasn’t that same feeling of excitement as she rounded the corner towards Diane’s office. She paused for a moment and looked at the office that was once his. That flutter of nerves was gone and all that was left was a deep hole of despair deep within her gut. The feeling made her sick to her stomach. Claire took a deep, calming breath as she placed her hand on her stomach trying to compose herself.

 

As she stood looking into the office she expected Will to walk out of his office, phone up to his ear, fighting with someone on the other line, before he would lean in to kiss her. She could almost hear his voice whisper  _ “Hi sweetheart, go wait in my office I will be right in. I just gotta finish this call…”  _ Tears started to gather in the corner of her eyes as tried to maintain some level of composure. She knew, without a doubt, that she would never be able to get over his loss. Not really. The pain that settled deep in the pit of her stomach as she caught a glimpse of a name,  _ not his,  _  on the plaque outside the office door was a reminder of that fact. Most days she muddled through, trying her best to push it as far from her mind as she could but being back in these offices. Made everything all too real.

 

As if on cue the doors across the hall swung open and the oddly comforting sound of Diane Lockhart clearing her throat roused Claire from her thoughts. Claire turned to face one of her late husband’s closest friends and smiled softly. “Diane…” Claire greeted her warmly trying to muster a smile but it was no use. Diane would have just seen through Claire’s poor acting skills. 

 

Diane Lockhart was always an intimidating woman but she always treated Claire with a great deal of respect. “Oh Claire…” Diane greeted as she opened her office door and quickly embraced Claire. “I was slightly taken aback when you called…” Diane motioned for Claire to take a seat as she went to sit behind her desk.

 

“Why? Will always told me if anything happened to him and we needed help, that you would be the only person who he would trust to take on anything for us…” Claire answered honestly as she sat down and opened her purse to start to riffle through it looking for something. 

 

“Well what do you need help with?” Diane asked softly as she watched the younger woman intently as she pulled out a printed out bank statement. Claire’s hands were shaking and she was obviously nervous over whatever situation had led her to seek help. 

 

“I need a lawyer…” Claire’s voice shook as she set the paper on the desk and let out a heavy sigh. Diane leaned forward and lifted up the paper, she glanced at it as Claire began to explain the situation. “They stopped all the payments… everything. When we took Will’s estate to probate there was contention of the wills. His sisters have one from ages ago, I have one he had David write up after Olivia was born. The estate has never been settled. I was supposed to be getting a stipend from his estate to take care of Olivia, pay our bills, just keep going, but I haven’t seen a penny for months.” Diane shook her head as Claire reached into her purse to pull out more papers. She placed each on the desk as she continued. “I had to pull Liv out of private school, I am on the verge of eviction, I can’t lose our home… he is in every inch of that place and I am behind two months on the mortgage and condo fees…” Claire was fighting back her outrage as she tried to find words but everything seemed to escape her.

 

Diane read over the bank statement and eviction notice, bewildered and growing upset herself. “This is low, even for them…” There was more than just the bank statement, there were letters from various law offices representing both of Will’s sisters who seemed to be fighting not only each other but Claire as well for control over Will’s estate. “This is a mess Claire, who has been handling it?” 

 

Claire sighed as she shifted in her chair. “I had been representing myself and my family in this, because… I can’t afford anyone else. I can’t  really afford to hire you but I am at Legal Aid right now and I work 40 hours in the office, plus weekends from home, I don’t have the time to fight this the way I need to.” Her eyes were cast down in shame. She had grown up on the south side, barely getting by the second youngest of seven kids. Will had helped her claw her away out of poverty and she now was being thrust right back in it. “All my credit cards are maxed out, my bank account is… well you can see.” Claire leaned back in the chair and let out a ragged sigh of frustration. “I have nothing left… I can’t keep going on like this.” 

 

Diane shook her head as she continued to read. “Will was meticulous with estate planning after Olivia was born, he had everything filed and in place. He never wanted you or her to be in this position.”  Claire’s situation was dire and Will’s sisters were using his own money to fight this. It was the only way they could afford the caliber of lawyers that had drafted this type of document. 

 

Claire looked defeated and exhausted. Her eyes lowered and let out a heavy sigh before she glanced back up at Diane. “I thought he did too, he told me that David drafted a new will that would provide for Olivia if..” Her voice cracked, still verbally acknowledging what happened was hard for her. Diane knew the feeling, Will’s death still weighed heavy in her mind. Diane lifted her hand to acknowledge she knew what Claire ment and the women shared a brief smile, before Claire continued. “The thing is, his sisters… they said he never filed the will and never gave them copies, so they want what’s left of his estate. They shut down Olivia’s trust… he started that trust when I found out I was pregnant!”  Diane groaned as pulled her glasses off and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I got a letter about a month ago from some law firm out east saying they doubt the Will is even the father of my kids or that our marriage was even real.” 

 

Diane scoffed and she tossed the papers back on her desk.”She looks so much like him Claire, how could they even think that and I was at the wedding. It was a little rushed but Will just wanted to move forward with life…” Diane leaned back in her chair shaking her head. She couldn’t believe that Claire had waited so long to come to her for help. She was such a stubborn and proud woman, Diane knew that it had taken a lot for her to come asking for help. “I signed the marriage license...they can’t void that” Diane mused softly, her husband Kurt had been the other witness. He would happily testify if she asked. The wheels of how to fight this were already turning in Diane’s mind. “This is just so absurd…” Diane seemed disgusted by the notion that anyone would have doubted the paternity of Claire’s daughter or that she was in fact Will’s wife. “So you now need a team of lawyers to go after and fight his sisters..” Claire nodded. “Will would…” Diane was mid sentence when Claire leaned forward and cut her off.

 

“Be furious and the first one to tell me to fight for our family. I work in the public defender's office Diane, I get paid next to nothing…. I am not rich and don’t need to be but Olivia…” Claire pulled out her phone and brought up a photo of her daughter. A bright eyed little girl in a brightly colored soccer uniform. Her messy dark hair pulled back in a ponytail in the living room of the apartment Will and Claire shared. Diane took the phone and picked up her glasses and put them on as she gazed down at the photo. “She doesn’t deserve this…” 

 

“Oh…” Diane exclaimed as she smiled thinking how proud Will would have been of his young daughter. “She has gotten so big, she is what 6?” Diane asked softly as she handed the phone back to Claire. 

 

“Just turned 6.” Claire uttered softly as slid her phone back into her purse. “Will never doubted she was his, but we did the paternity test. Olivia is his daughter..” Her voice cracked once more and Diane reached across the desk and took Claire’s hand. “He was taken away from her and the only solace I had was I didn’t have to worry about money… Will always promised me he had us taken care of… he had her taken care of.” Tears started to flow from Claire’s soft stormy eyes and without a word Diane walked around her desk and pulled the younger woman into her tight hug. It was a gesture that Claire desperately needed. She was exhausted and broken, on many levels. She needed Diane’s strength to help her win this for her family.  “I miss him so much…” Claire choked out and Diane squeezed her, she missed Will too. His absence was always present in both women’s minds. “I loved him…” Claire whispered. “I loved him so much.” 

 

“He loved you… I know he did.” Diane reassured quickly. Will and Claire fought, Diane had broken up several of their late night fights in his office, but she knew that you don’t fight like that unless there was some foundation of deep love. They both had their problems and secrets but at the end of the day they always came back together. “The only thing Will loved more than being a lawyer was Olivia and you… anyone who knew him knew that…” She pushed Claire back a little and looked down at her with a small smile playing on her lips. “His sisters obviously didn’t know how much he loved his family.” 

 

“So you will help me fight them. For Olivia... “

 

“Let Auntie Diane handle it… but could you humor me and bring her in for visit.I miss her so much and you too, you are my family as much as Will was.” Diane said firmly. “And I want you to consider coming and working here. I can make sure you and Olivia at least keep a roof over your heads.”  Claire chuckled softly and shook her head. “Fighting the good fight isn’t going to put food on the table and you are family… Let us take care of you.” 

 

Claire was torn. She felt good about the work she was doing with the public defender's office but she knew Diane was right. She was barely making ends meet. All her bills were past due and she knew what starting salary was for an associate was with Diane. “Will…” 

 

“Would want you to provide for his daughter, first and foremost.” Diane reassured as she rubbed Claire’s arm. “Let me do this for you…” 

 

“I’ll think about it and let you know when I bring, Liv in.” Claire declared softly as she laid her hand on Diane’s desk. “Thank you Diane…” 

 

“Don’t thank me Claire…” Diane’s tone was mournful as she spoke. “I should have been there to protect you and Olivia after Will’s death. I got lost in my own grief.” The two women were silent for a moment before Claire stood up signaling she had to leave. “I am sure you have to go, the life of a working mother must be exhausting..” Diane noted as she stood to meet her friend. “Come here..” she beckoned with open arms. 

“It is… so exhausting.” Claire confessed as she wrapped her arms around one of her mentors. 

 

“Kurt and I are here to help… so please call me and I will happily take my goddaughter off your hands for a few nights so you can rest.” Diane kissed Claire’s cheek as they walked to the door of her office. 

 

“I will take you up on that offer, I promise…” They said their goodbyes quickly but both women looked at the door to Will old office as Claire went to leave. Diane reached out and placed her hand once more on Claire’s arm. “Canning…” Claire noted softly. “Will hated him..” There was so much bitterness in her voice as she spoke. “And now..” 

 

“I know, it doesn’t sit well with me either.” Diane responded quickly. “The firm needed his money, it was business, Claire, Will would have understood that.” Claire shook her head disagreeing. 

 

“Not his office…” Claire noted bitterly before turning to Diane and kissing her cheek quickly. “I gotta get back to work, I’ll bring Liv by in a few days…” Claire slipped out of the offices and back into the elevator as quickly as she possibly could. The whole experience of being there, being offered a job that could save herself and her family overwhelmed her. She knew she would have to take the job, it was the only way she would be able to keep her home but at what cost? 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire returns to see Diane with her daughter and an old memory comes flooding back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter features both Present and Past Timelines, also we get our first glimpse of Will and Claire.

++++++

 

A few days later Claire returned to offices she knew all too well. This time with her daughter in tow. This was far from the first time the little girl had been in the office before. As they rode up in the elevator Claire’s mind wandered back to the first time they brought Olivia to the office when she was barely two days old. 

 

+++++

 

**5 ½ years before Will’s Murder -**

 

Claire looked over at Will, who was holding an empty car seat. In her arms was a newborn Olivia dressed in a pale pink sleeper. Fussing softly as she squirmed in her mother’s arms. Will leaned over and set the carseat down. He placed a hand on Olivia’s back trying to calm her down a bit, patting it softly as he leaned in and kissed Claire’s cheek.  “I told you I was going to be quick, I just needed to grab a few files. There was no reason to wake her up and push yourself like this. You could have just stayed in the car.” Will said with a smirk as he looked down at Olivia who opened her eyes for a moment and looked straight at her father. “What are you doing?” He asked his daughter softly as he reached out and ran his and over the top of her head. 

 

Claire tried not to laugh, she knew how the situation would really pan out and there was no ‘Just a few minutes’ involved. “I know you, Will. You haven’t been in the office for over 48 hours.” She smirked as she spoke and Will raised an eyebrow knowing where she was going. They had been together long enough for Claire to know being away from his work was driving him batty. He hadn’t stopped working just because he wasn’t in the office, he was on his phone for a good portion of the time Claire was in labor but once Olivia was born, he didn’t answer a single call for nearly a day. It didn’t surprise Claire that Will put their daughter before his work, as from the moment she told him that she was pregnant it became clear something in him changed. Work was always going to be important to Will, but now that Olivia was actually there, it was clear to Claire that she had become the center of Will’s world. He was changing and it was renewing her hope that he was in fact, the one. 

 

Even with the change in him she could see, Claire knew that he would get in his office and he would just lose track of time.  Claire smirked as she leaned up and kissed him quickly, her free hand patting his cheek. “You are going to get in your office and it’s going to be hours before I pry you away.” Claire predicted. Will laughed softly as he leaned down to pick the carseat back up. Olivia stretched her arms up as she let out a big yawn before nestling against her mother’s shoulder. “Oh such a big yawn from such a little girl.” Claire noted with a little smirk.

 

Will took a moment to respond to Claire’s allegation that she would have to pry him away from his work, he knew that it was the truth but he didn’t want it to be. “A few months ago yes that would have been the case, but I am a family man now.” He laughed trying to brush off her accusation as the bell rang and the elevator doors began to open. He could have taken the girls home, then come back to the office and gone back home when he was done, but he didn’t. He drove out of his way to swing by the office because some part of him was worried it was going up in flames without him and had to check to make sure everything was still standing. Sure enough, the office was still standing without him and silently cursed his selfishness. 

 

He glanced over at Claire and smiled at her. He kept promising himself that it really was only going to be a few minutes and then home. He reached out and placed his hand on the small of her back. Claire looked up at him, a small smile of her own playing on her lips. “I just want to get my files so we can go home, you can lay down and get some real rest and I can get some work done while I help with Liv.” Will was trying very hard to sell the fact that this was just going to be a quick stop, nothing more. He stepped out first and stuck his arm in front of the door to allow Claire to walk slowly through. “We are going to be five minutes…” Will said in a low voice as he leaned in and kissed Olivia on the top of her head. 

 

There was quite a bit of fuss as the new little family made through way through the halls of the 28th floor to reach Will’s office. Most people who worked there knew Claire from her time working there and Will was the boss. Plus, there was always a fuss over a new baby. Everyone wanted to stop them to take a peak the baby. There were several “Look at those cheeks” and “She is beautiful” comments and many congratulations. A walk that normally took no more than two minutes, took ten. They were already doubling on Will’s five minute promise. Claire didn’t mind, she knew that there was going to be a fuss over the baby. She just didn’t expect everyone at the office trying to stop them to get a glimpse of the newest Gardner. 

 

Once they reached Will’s office he turned to his Secretary, Jenny, “Unless it’s Diane, tell everyone they are going to have to wait to see the baby, I don’t want to be here that long.” The girl smiled and nodded making her promises to play gatekeeper of the baby.  Will held the door open as Claire walked in with Olivia still nestled against her chest. As soon as he walked through the door Will groaned as he saw the pile of files on desk. It had only been two full days and the paperwork was already overflowing. There was no way that he was going to get out of here in just a few minutes. A flash of guilt washed over Will as he glanced over at Claire who was already settling in on the couch, ready to stay here with him for a long haul. “An hour, Claire… I swear…” He knew he was lying even to himself, that more than likely they would be there for hours but if he didn’t at least try to get ahead of the work that it was going to get away from him. He turned back to his desk and tried to figure out how he wanted to attack the mess.

 

Claire laughed softly and nodded slowly as she leaned forward to pull Olivia’s blanket out of the car seat and wrapped it around her. “I knew it was going to be chaos… it’s fine, we are fine.” Claire reassured him with a soft smile. Olivia started to fuss after about 10 minutes and Claire checked the most obvious issue, her diaper which was soaked. She had thought Will had grabbed her diaper bag but she didn’t see it anywhere. His briefcase was by his desk. Olivia’s car seat next to the couch. The diaper bag was conspicuously absent. “Will… where’s the diaper bag?” Claire asked softly from the couch as she glanced up at Will who had been standing at his desk going through files. 

 

“Shit!” Will cursed as he turned around pulling his car keys out of the back pocket of his jeans. He crossed the room in a few quick strides before he stuck his head out of his office door and to ask his secretary for some help. “Jenny, can you go down to my car, in the back seat there is a bag…” The secretary asked him what kind of bag it was and Will stumbled through describing Olivia’s diaper bag before the young woman ran off to retrieve it. She didn’t take long, only a few minutes before she returned with the bag in hand. 

 

“Thank you so much.” Claire said softly as she took the bag from the young woman’s hands. 

 

“She is a very sweet little thing…” Jenny gushed with a bright smile on her face as  she almost reached out to touch the baby but stopped herself. Claire smiled up at her giving her permission to touch the baby. The young woman reached out and took the infants little hand and smiled warmly down her. “Congratulations again, Mr. Gardner, Claire...” Her hand slipped from Olivia’s as she took a step back and looked up at Will for further instruction. 

 

Will smirked from his desk, “Thank you… we are pretty proud of her.” He noted from behind the file he was reading. Jenny excused herself leaving the three of them alone once more. Claire went about getting Olivia changed and settled again though it didn’t last very long. For the most part she was a happy baby, as long as she was being held, but she was tired and so was Claire. Olivia started to fuss and Claire was doing the best she could calm her but Olivia didn’t want her mother. 

 

As Claire paced the office after nearly 5 minutes of Olivia’s fussing and Claire pacing purposefully directly in front of Will’s desk till he finally put his work down. “Give her here.” He declared as he pushed his chair back and stood up before sauntering over to Claire and taking his crying daughter from her exhausted mother’s arms. “Come here peanut, I’m sorry was daddy not paying attention to you? Is that why you are losing your shit now? Mommy changed you and fed you… so what else could be wrong?” Will was talking in a soft, slightly comical baby talk voice as he swayed with the baby in his arms. He glanced back at Claire who was standing holding Olivia’s swaddle blanket and her pacifier just watching him. Will shifted Olivia so he had one hand free and took her blanket and pacifier out of Claire’s hands. “Go sit down.” He instructed softly pointing with the blanket and pacifier towards the brown leather couch in office. Claire scoffed silently and Will shook his head and point towards his desk.”I don’t care where you sit, just get off your feet.” Claire was being stubborn and trying to push through and prove she was the badass that Will already knew she was. She didn’t need to prove anything to anyone, least of him.  “Claire, I am begging ya here. Go sit down.” He exclaimed as he took a step towards her. 

 

“Fine…” Claire chuckled softly as she leaned up and kissed him quickly before making her way behind his desk and sinking into his plush desk chair. She always loved sitting at his desk, it made he feel far more powerful and important than she knew she ever was. One day perhaps she would sit behind a desk like this, a partner in a Law Firm like Will, but it was still a long way off. As she stretched to the right, a twinge of pain radiated from the still fresh scar from her C-section. As much as she understood that Will’s work life couldn’t stop because of Olivia’s birth, she did just want to get home and into her own bed.  “When are we going home?” She asked softly as she rested her hand on her stomach and settled back in the chair trying to find a comfortable position. 

 

Despite her discomfort Claire smiled watching Will with their daughter. He was pacing with Olivia, whom was starting to settle, in his arms as he spoke softly to her. What he was talking to her about Claire didn’t know, probably nothing of importance. Claire smiled softly remembering how he used to practice for court as he would rest his head on her stomach throughout her pregnancy, because he wanted Liv to know his voice. Which the little girl obviously did. “Soon, huh peanut.” He said slightly louder turning back to Claire as he gently bounced the infant in his arms. “Are you going to help me go over these depositions Livy? Mommy used to help me… but I think we are going to let her get some sleep and you can start your education in the family business.” He kissed the tips of her fingers as Olivia reached out towards his face. Claire smirked as she watched the tender moment unfold before her. The last thing she ever expected was Will being the baby whisperer. He was natural with her.

 

Claire let out a happy sigh as she leaned forward and started to rustle through the files on his desk. “Since she wants you, let's just make this go faster…” Claire declared and Will nodded agreeing with her. “What are the cases you need… I will grab the files…” Claire asked softly. Will turned around and pointed to a small stack near the left hand side of his desk. “Those?”

 

“Yes, that should get us through tonight at least.” Will paused for a moment and debated having her grab another stack but he shook his head knowing that he would just have to come back tomorrow regardless. “Yeah, those will be fine.” He turned his attention back to Olivia as she nuzzled against Will’s chest as he rubbed her back. “We can come back tomorrow to get the rest of them, can’t we peanut… daddy doesn’t have to be court for a whole week. So it’s going to be you… me… depositions and sports center.” He said with a cheeky grin playing on his lips before he glanced over at Claire. “And Mommy, obviously we have to have mommy don’t we?” Claire laughed as she gathered the files and stuck them in his briefcase that was leaning against Will’s desk. Will crossed the room, tossing Liv’s blanket over his shoulder and tossing her pacifier on the couch. He lent down and picked up the car seat bringing back over and setting it down next to his desk as Claire straightened up the chaos of paperwork. “You don’t have to do that…” Will noted as he shifted Olivia slightly.  

 

“Old habits die hard..” Claire laughed softly as she finished straightening up quickly. She winced as she went to bent down to get Olivia’s car seat so they could finally get ready to leave. 

 

Just as Claire was lifting the car seat up and setting it on Will’s desk to strap Olivia in, there was a soft knock on the door. Will turned around as Diane stuck her head in hoping to catch the young family before they left. “When I heard you were here and so was…” She stopped as her eyes landed on Olivia cuddled against Will’s chest and clasped her hands to her mouth. Diane was trying to remain composed but she was so excited to see Will’s daughter for the first time. 

 

Both Will and Claire smiled seeing her reaction. “Go on, I know you want to.” Will teased giving his permission to allow her normally tough exterior to fall away and to allow the great Diane Lockhart to give in and gush over his newborn. “I won’t think less of you, I made a very cute kid.” Will was such the proud new father as he took a few steps closer so Diane could get a better look at the baby.  “She’s a good little addition to firm I think…”

 

Diane leaned in and beamed as she rested her hand on Olivia’s back and leaned in to look at her face. “Oh, she is just so… Look at all that hair, those tiny little fingers… oh she is just so little...” Claire made a note of this moment because it was the first time she had seen Diane at a loss for words. Will was also quite amused by her flustered, emotional display. Diane took a small step back but not before leaning in and kissing Will on the cheek and whispering “She is perfect.” Turning to Claire next, Diane reached out and beckoned for her to come over and join them. As Claire neared she reached out and took her hand. “How are you? How are you feeling?” 

 

“Tired, sore in places I didn’t know existed.” Claire laughed and Will looked both uncomfortable and appolgitic as both women glanced over at him. “The c-section wasn’t that bad, but that one…” Claire gestured towards Will who started to shake his head.

 

“Don’t tell her…” Will pleaded softly but Diane just laughed and motioned for Claire to continue. 

 

“Oh I am telling her Will.” Claire declared as she turned back to Diane. “He was all ‘I have seen really gruesome crime scene photos, I can handle it’ and decided he wanted to look over the curtain when they brought him in.” Diane started to stifle a laugh. “I thought he was going to faint…” Diane couldn’t hold it in any more and let out a hearty laugh before quickly composing herself. She didn’t want to laugh at Will’s expense but it was such a stupid mistake for him to make. 

 

“Did Julius not warn you not to look? “ Diane laughed recalling a conversation the three had just days before. Julius was an experienced father, with several children and she would have expected Will to take such saged advice. “I distinctly remember him telling you whatever you do don’t look…” 

 

Will took a few steps closer as he began to defend himself. “Listen, I did not expect them to have her so...fucking on display. It was horrible.” Claire laughed as Will shuddered thinking back to that image forever burned in his mind. “I should have listened…” He admitted and both women laughed. It was such a rare thing for Will Gardner to admit he in fact was fallible. “Shut it, both of you…” He warned half jokingly. He didn’t expect the two most important women in his life to be getting quite such a laugh at his expense. 

 

“The curtain is there for a reason Will.” Diane chided through he chuckles as she reached over and patted his arm. “But now you know and you gave Claire and I nice chuckle..” Will rolled his eyes and shook his head mockingly before he smirked.  Diane turned back to Claire and placed a protective arm around her. “You should be sitting down, laying down more like it. Why did you ever let him talk you into stopping here? Have you even been home yet?” Claire shook her head and Diane glared at Will, who sulked back a few steps leaning down using the baby to hide from Diane’s dagger filled gaze. “Don’t you dare hide behind that precious baby, Will…” 

 

“I have been telling her she needs to sit down…” Will pointed out with a laugh as Diane ushered Claire to a nearby chair giving the young woman no other option than to sit. “You just had major surgery,” Will reminded Claire gently as Diane rejoined him and began to fuss over Olivia again. “They wanted her to stay another night and I was fine with that but she wanted to go home.” Will whispered softly to Diane who just tutted. He would have been happy to stayed another night himself, but he knew that Claire couldn’t sleep there with all the noise and fuss. Yet he knew it would have probably been the best place for them all. At least the nurses had managed to convince Claire to rest.  “She is doing too much…” he cautioned. 

 

Diane glanced over at Claire and gave her a motherly, stern look. She turned back to Will and leaned in,  “Claire doesn’t know how or when to stop, which is why she is the only woman who can stand you.” Diane answered back softly as rubbed Olivia’s back. “I feel bad for you little one, your parents are maniacs and workaholics…” Diane laughed softly as she stood back up and looked Will square in the eyes. “You both need to slow down just a little and enjoy this little gift, you two don’t know how lucky you are to have a healthy baby. Just enjoy it, Will.” Diane spoke softly but her tone was weighted.  She wanted Will and Claire both to know that they needed to change the way they lived, or things were never going to work. She had seen it happen before with other lawyers. “I’m serious Will…” Diane warned softly as she gazed down at Olivia longingly. 

 

Will smirked as he tilted his head and looked at Diane. He had never expected her to be so motherly in this situation. “I know.” Will murmured softly as he watched Diane continue to fawn over his daughter. He let out a low chuckle,  “Do you want to hold her Diane?” He asked as he raised an eyebrow.

 

“Yes!” Diane exclaimed, shocking not only herself but Will and Claire as well who both laughed softly.  “I had hoped you would ask me, I just washed my hands before I came in.” She laughed and Claire smirked from the couch. Slowly Will handed Olivia over to the very careful Diane who already placed a protective hand on the back of her head just as Will opened his mouth. “I know, watch her head…” Diane chuckled as she gazed blissfully down at the newborn. It was these moments that Diane regretted not having children, but she enjoyed whatever rare opportunity she had to dote on Will’s daughter. “You are the most innocent creature we have ever had in this office… it’s hard to believe you are a Gardner.” Diane teased. Will shook his head laughing as Diane glanced over at him smiling. “We’ll keep her, I think…” 

 

Will leaned in and kissed Liv’s head, “I think it’s for the best… I kind of like her.” Will walked over to where Claire was seated and placed his hands on her shoulders as he watched one of his closest friends hold his daughter. “Her name is Olivia.” Will started. 

 

“Olivia Rose Gardner…” Claire finished with a smile. “We are going to call her Liv for short.” 

 

“Olivia.” Diane repeated softly as she smiled brightly as she smiled up at Will and Claire once more before looking down at Olivia. “Well, I will have you know Olivia that I already have a vested interest in you young lady. I expect big things from you and you can always come to your Aunt Diane whenever you need anything.”

 

++++

**Present**

 

Olivia was antsy in the elevator. She always had too much energy and always asked too many questions, like most 6 year olds. Her questions weren’t little questions like ‘Why is the sky blue’ or ‘why do birds sing’ because Olivia was far from your average child. She had been through far more than any kid her age should have. She watched her mother claw her way through Law School, spent most of her life with adults more than children, and well, she was Will’s daughter She watched everyone and everything around her. Every question Olivia ever asked any more was weighted by the fact they were mostly about her father. “Mom, so is this where you and Dad met?”  She asked as they neared the 20th floor on their way up. 

 

Claire shrugged,“Well, not here, but an office not that different before you Dad and Aunt Diane left another law firm with a man named Jonas Stern… but I left with your Dad, because I belived in him” Claire explained with a smirk as she reached down and took Olivia’s hand. “This is where we used to visit him at work, you probably spent more time here when you were tiny than you did at our house.” She reminded her softly, not that Olivia needed to be reminded. She remembered every detail of the offices that were her second home. 

 

“Does another lawyer have his office?” Olivia asked softly. Claire nodded solemnly as the bell rang and the door opened. The notion of anyone else in her father’s office didn’t sit well with Olivia at all. It made her stomach twist and she wished that when the doors opened that her father would have been standing there, like he used to be. Her heart sank when she didn’t see him waiting with that smirk on his face. Olivia walked off first, looking around to see the subtle changes to the office. It all made her uncomfortable, she shifted anxiously as she waited for her mother to follow her off. It was only a few seconds but it felt like a lifetime. 

 

As Claire walked off the elevator she placed her hand on her daughter’s shoulder and leaned down. “Are you okay?” She asked softly and Olivia nodded as her dark eyes started to search around the room and spotted the portrait of Will that still hung on the wall in reception. It was the picture they had used on the news when they covered the shooting, it was the first picture of him that came up on chumhum and it was a picture that both Olivia and Claire had come to hate. 

 

Wandering through the well dressed adults in her ripped jeans, scuffed sneakers and her Elementary school’s basketball hoodie that was a size too big for her Olivia made her way towards the photo. She looked up at it for a long moment and let out a sad sigh before hanging her head. She missed him. It was to be expected and most days Olivia tried to pretend like she was okay. Not for herself but for her mother. Even as young as she was she knew that her mother needed her to be strong because her father was gone. 

 

Claire spotted Olivia out of the corner of her eye as she finished up checking in. “Liv…” She beckoned quickly and waved her over as she started to make her way towards the offices. “Olivia, lets go.” Snapping out her haze Olivia quickly trailed after her mother and took her hand. 

 

Olivia knew her father was a Lawyer and so was her mother. One of friends from school said that her parents would have been called a ‘power couple’ though Olivia wasn’t sure what that meant. She knew that when her father was alive he worked a lot and her mother was always at school or helping her father with cases at his office. She assumed that what her friends meant was what Liv had viewed as normal for most of her life. “Why don’t you work here? This was daddy’s firm… he made it right?” Claire nodded as the walked same path they had walked a thousand times to see Will. Olivia had so many memories flooding back to her that she started to drag her feet not wanting to near her father’s office because she knew that it was going to be to hard. She thought if she delayed her mother with pointed questions, a skill she got from her father, that perhaps Diane would come find them and she wouldn’t have to see her father’s office. 

 

Noticing her daughter’s delaying tactics, Claire smirked. Will would have been proud of her effort. “I may come work for Aunt Diane,I liked working here, I always wanted to come back  but when daddy was here it was hard. There were rules and rules are there for a reason.” Claire tried to be honest with her daughter about most things but she wanted to glaze over the fact that her father and mother started off as a very torrid office affair. “So when things got serious with your dad, we moved in together and helped me get into law school and then we had you. It just wasn’t going to work.” Claire smirked as she leaned over and kissed the top of Olivia’s head as they rounded the corner. 

 

It was the first time that Olivia had seen Will’s office, the place she took her first steps, slept on her father’s couch so many afternoons while he worked, most of her fond memories of her father took place in that room. It was a special place for Olivia and as she laid eyes on it after a year she stopped dead in a tracks. Tears welled up in her eyes as she realized for the first time she couldn’t tell herself any more that ‘daddy was just at the office’ when she was particularly sad late at night. Wishing for him to come in late and stand in her doorway like he always used to, just one last time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> +Flashback+   
> Will comes home late one night shortly before his murder...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe people are actually reading this and enjoying it... this has been my little hobby project for about 8 months now. Plotting, writing, rewriting, more plotting, reworking story. I had no intentions of ever posting it because I didn't there was an audience for it but maybe there is. So my plan is to post as edit chapters. Not as I write them, the overall process may take some time but I think the story will be better for it. I may go back and make re-edits at some point but I really am trying to get this story finished. I have lot of this already written... like... over 100 single spaced 11 arial font google doc pages,and the story isn't finished yet... I am maybe a 1/4 of the way into it. So while posts may slow down a bit over coming days as I catch up to a comfortable point, they should keep coming fairly steadily as I continue to write.

**8 weeks before Will’s Murder**

 

It was after midnight when Will finally got home from the office, since the rebellion he had been swamped with trying to keep what clients he had left. As soon as he walked he could hear the TV on, and see the faint outline of a lump on the couch. Will gave a huff of a chuckle. Claire was asleep on the couch with an old tv show he didn’t know in the background on the tv, curled up under her favorite blanket. She looked peaceful, she looked happy and that made him happy. Things had been rough awhile back, they each had their part in their troubles. It hadn’t been easy but they worked through the issues as much as they could for Olivia’s sake. They got back together a little over a year. Things were better, not like they once were, but enough that Will felt like there was hope for them to actually make things work. 

 

Will looked around his apartment, his family’s home. His bachelor decor was long gone. His fine art pieces had been replaced by photos of their young family. Olivia’s toys had seeped from her bedroom and populated the rest of the house. He nearly stepped on a stuffed cat and Will chuckled softly as he picked up and looking at it. “This is my life now...a plague of rainbow sparkle cats and enough crayons to be considered stock in crayola” Will mused as he set the stuffed toy down with his briefcase down next to the couch. As he lifted his gaze, standing back up, he noticed Olivia’s drawings were strewn across the coffee table. Taking a few steps over he saw coloring pages filled with purple puppies and green cats, a few blank sheets that had scribbles of various shapes and colors.  Will leaned down sorting through the rather prolific pile of drawings looking at each of creations. One drawing caught his eye, it was off to the side with a black and brown crayon still laying across the paper. He lent and picked it up to take a closer look. It was their family, albeit in stick figure form. The thing about the fairly benign drawing that struck Will was he was away from the other two, at work and they were home. It was sad to think that’s how his daughter saw their family. Her and “mommy”, at home together and Will, or as Olivia had labeled him “daddy”, was off working. It used to not be like that and he knew it had to change. “Point taken Olivia Rose…” Will mumbled as he set the drawing back down as he unbuttoned his jacket and loosened his tie before walking over to Claire and leaning down to kiss her on the cheek. “Hey…” Will said softly as he brushed a few stray strands of hair off her cheek. “Sorry I’m so late.” 

 

Claire stirred under his touch. As she rolled over she let out a sleepy yawn as  smiled up at Will. He smirked down at her as she started to wake up “Hi honey..” She yawned sleepily once more as she  reached up to pull him back down to give him a proper kiss. He had said he was going to be home hours before and not long ago, his late arrival would have been instant cause for a fight. That was a few months before when Alicia was still at the firm she would have been worried, but with her gone. Claire knew he was just working, so she wasn’t angry. “What time is it?” She yawned again as she shifted around on the couch stretching as Will stood back up. 

 

The show on the TV caught Will’s attention for a moment and he could have sworn he knew what it was and he couldn’t figure out what. Claire always watched the oddest things late at night, that was probably the only reason he recognized it. He reached down and cupped her cheek and smiled as he urged her to go to bed.  “Time to go to bed, I somehow don’t think…” Will laughed softly as his hand slipped away from her cheek and reached down to grab the remote off the arm of the couch to bring up the menu. “Classic Doctor Who reruns is studying for the bar my darling..” Claire giggled and shook her head. He shrugged his suit jacket off as Claire sat up on the couch rewrapping herself in a blanket.  Will flopped down on the couch next to her wrapping his arms around her, letting her lean into him. 

 

She nestled herself against him, her arm slipping behind him. Her head resting on his chest. “I was studying since Liv went to bed, I couldn’t read over my notes one more time or take one more practice test.” Claire explained as she moved her free hand up his chest before she loosened his tie till she pulled it off all the way and tossed it beside him. Will smirked as he pulled her closer to him. These were the moments that made Claire want to fight to fix things between them. These quiet little moments where she felt like she was all that mattered to him.

 

Claire smiled up at him softly, she was worried about what life held for her once she became a real lawyer. There were only so many spots for a lawyer just starting out, she didn’t go to a fancy law school like so many of the people she would be competing with for the position. Claire knew that the real work was only about to start and it weighed heavily on her mind. She let out a long sigh as she gazed up at Will, he was a whole different set of factors to consider when she was being hired. “I am going to take my test in two days, then what?” She wasn’t wrong in her question. “I went to Depaul for Law School, a state school for undergrad… not Harvard… Not Georgetown.” 

 

“It’s still a very good school Claire…” Will reassured but he knew she was right. At best, she was going to the State’s Attorney’s office and that would only be because her brother was in investigator there. He would pull strings. She could work her way up, gain a reputation and then move to a bigger firm. On paper, if she came in, even he wouldn’t hire her at that point. He knew she just needed time to grow, and show people just how talented she was. He leaned in and kissed her tenderly on the lips as he brushed a few strands of hair off her face. “Anyone would be lucky to have you at the firm. You got something to prove…”

 

Claire scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I have to live you down.” She exclaimed as she shifted so she was looking up at him better without craning her neck. Her icy gaze focused in on him in the low blue cast of the TV in the dark room. “Everyone knows I am the mother of your child… no one will hire me because they are afraid they step one toe out of line they will have the full wrath of Will Gardner come down upon them.” Claire laughed but she was obviously worried about it. She had applied for a few internships and no one would take her on. She ended up working in Elsbeth’s offices, which she only did as a personal favor to Will. Much to her surprise, Claire loved working for the eccentric lawyer.  Elsbeth was actually a wonderful boss, very sweet and always thoughtful but she couldn’t take Claire on full time as an associate as much as she wanted to. There just wasn’t a place for her there. She had written Claire the most amazing letter of recommendation but, that was the best she could do. “Half the firms in this city hate your guts because of the money you took from your clients 84 years ago when you were a young and stupid lawyer.” Will chuckled at the way she put it, but she wasn’t wrong. “Babe, they despise you… think you should have been disbarred.” Claire was becoming more animated as she spoke sitting away from him for a moment as she tilted her head slightly and added, “The other half just dislike going up against you and will want to use me against you.” 

 

Will groaned as he stretched his arms over the back of the couch and started to shake his head. She wasn’t wrong, he knew his reputation had taken more than on hit in the last few years and the last thing he wanted was for it blow back on her. “Honestly, we have done the same thing to try and get an inside line. We would end up with a dozen different chinesse walls we would have to put up at home. Even if you only made it to the SA’s office.” Claire glared at him like he was insulting her and Will was quick to back step. “I think you would be a great prosecutor, that’s all… shit..”  He shook his and Claire let out a heavy sigh.

 

She leaned back into him, her head once again resting on his shoulder. “No matter which way we cut it… me working at any other firm is going to get messy in our personal lives.” She let out a groan herself as she hung her head and Will drape an arm over her shoulder. “Even working at your firm is going to be messy.” She mused. Will knew no matter which way they cut it she was not going to have an easy go getting a job. At least at his firm, she would have him go to bat for her. Yes, it would probably be considered preferential treatment but what had all his work been for if not to help provide a better life for his family. 

 

Will nudged her to raise her head up and look at him. “I don’t like the idea of you working at any other law firm.” Will whispered. He loved her, he helped her through college and law school. It would be a lie to say he wasn’t molding her to be his go to trial partner throughout all his little side lessons with her over the years. He knew she would work harder than any other first year just to prove she wasn’t there just because she was with Will. She had more passion for the cases that no one else wanted, than anyone else. Even Alicia. He wanted his firm to reap the benefits of all the hard work he knew Claire would put into each case. He knew she was going to be a talented lawyer and he couldn’t wait to try a case with her and he never wanted to try a case against her.

 

There were few ways around the fact that they were in a relationship. It created all sorts of issues when it came to Claire working for him. There were waivers and contacts that could be drawn up but so much of that could be avoided if they were married. He had played around the idea of marriage for a number of years. It was a topic the pair had discussed at length, numerous times. Will had gotten Claire a ring years before their troubles, when she was pregnant with Olivia. He never found the right moment to ask her, the timing was never right. He kept it in a drawer at work thinking that he would never get the chance to give it to her after what happened to Alicia. He knew that if they were married, it would make things easier. For him, for her, even for Olivia.  “Marry me... “ he suggested very nonchalantly and at first Claire thought he was joking. She even started to laugh softly as Will shook his head. “Claire… Marry me, I’m serious.” 

 

“Shut your fucking mouth.” Claire exclaimed as she shoved him off her in shock. She didn’t know if she should be overjoyed or enraged.  After years of waiting for him to ask her to marry him he chose a moment when she was in his warn old Georgetown hoodie and a pair of sweats, in the middle of the night when she was half asleep. There was no romance to the proposal, not that Will had ever mastered that in their relationship. She had expected him to at least do the standard cheesy proposal. She had dreamt of a fancy dinner, a big speech declaring his undying love and devotion that would sound far more like closing arguments than a proposal. Not just, ‘marry me’ as gruff and Han Solo like as it was. She had expected more from him.  “You could have put some effort into this Will…” Claire scolded and Will just laughed. His laughter only bewildered Claire more. She was fairly certain that Will had lost his mind in the wake of coupe at work. 

 

Will took her hand in his and looked at her intently as he explained. “I don’t need to put effort into the proposal because I am ready to put real effort into making our life together something amazing, Claire.” Claire’s soft laugh brought a tender smile to Will’s lips as he continued. “I am ready for the the full dream. White picket fences, the dogs, a 4 bedroom 3 bath house in the suburbs if you want it.” Will was trying to make up for his lackluster proposal by painting a picture of what he wanted for their life. “I want us to have our own firm one day, you and me… the husband and wife gimmick really works and you can sell it. I know you can.” Claire wanted that dream, she loved the idea of them living someplace outside the city, running a firm in the city together. It was a dream they had talked about early on in their relationship.

 

Will squeezed her hands as he continued, “The whole power couple dream.Like you always use to dream about” Claire laughed softly. Will loved that sound and it gave him hope that she would actually say yes.  “We make a good team at work but even more importantly at home, and you have made this place a real home. One, I want to come home to each night.” Claire ran her hand down his chest as she looked up at him waiting on his next word, “Come work for LG… you will be a Gardner, they can say we give you preferential treatment all they want but if we are married… and if we don’t have a prenup… you own as much of the firm as I do. I want us to be where we should have been, if everything else hadn’t happened. Which is you, at my side… as my wife… and on the partner track at my firm.” 

 

Claire wanted to say yes, she wanted to scream it not caring if she woke her sleeping daughter up, but she couldn’t not all the way. She worried about their past, everything that happened ripped open old wounds. “But it did happen.” Clare started leaning away from Will again. She had her doubt that they would last. She didn’t want to marry him if they were just going to get divorced. Even though she wasn’t practicing, being raised Catholic but that idea in her head. You marry someone till one of you dies, end of story. “Will, Alicia happened…” Will’s jaw clenched when she mentioned Alicia’s name. “Cary happened…”  Claire muttered softly as she looked away from Will as she spoke Cary’s name. Will’s whole body grew rigid as she said his name. The both had acknowledged in the past that Claire still had feelings for Cary, part of her would probably always have feelings for him. He was charming, he swept her off her feet when she was at her lowest, but he never made her feel the way Will did. Just as they had both acknowledged Will’s feelings for Alicia. They had both thought they moved on, but had they enough to get married? That was looming question. 

 

Will wanted it all behind, once and for all. He felt the only real way to do that was to marry Claire, show her that he was committed to her and only her fully. “It was a long time ago, it’s in the past. You are my present and future, you and my daughter… that’s all I want… my family.” Will declared firmly. Claire was trying so hard not to laugh at this point because she thought that will had lost his mind. The only contention Will could think of was, money. No prenup meant she could destroy him financially.  “What? The money… Claire.” He asked bewildered that such a thing would hold back her decision on marrying him. “You don’t get it, I don’t care. Anything happens to me you and Olivia get everything anyways.” 

 

Claire shook her head in disbelief once more and shifted her position so she was fully facing him and she placed her hands on his shoulders to emphasise what she was about to say. “Will I can take half your business assets without a prenup, the partners will not allow it. David..” 

 

“Fuck David Lee.” Will nearly shouted abruptly and pushed Claire’s hands off his shoulders. “You are the mother of child, Claire. If anything happens to me David drafted my fucking will when Liv was 14 days old and he knows everything goes to Liv and you.” Will was now in full lawyer mode arguing his case. “If we got married do you think we would actually end up getting divorced? Honestly?” Will had been drinking, she could smell the faint hint of bourbon on his breath as he leaned in, his hand gripping her hip, pulling her closer. Though he was drinking it was not enough that he was drunk, but Claire couldn’t understand where this was coming from. 

 

Claire knew he was arguing his case, so she would argue hers. She took a moment to think about their history, their past and what were the major faults to their relationship. The biggest being the fact they both had feelings for other people. People at that particular moment neither of them liked very much that didn’t mean things wouldn’t change over the years. Taking a deep breath Claire leaned forward, ready to present her case. “No, I mean we would probably separate at least once every five years and come close.” Will laughed as Claire spoke softly. “We have been through hell together, yet you are the first person I call when I am scared.” This was not the response that Will was expecting but he continued to listen. “You got my brother out of Jail…” 

 

“No, you did…” Will corrected quickly as he motioned for her to continue 

 

“Fine, WE got my brother out of jail. We have an amazing little girl together, I love you but I know the second that Alicia is emotionally available and you aren’t mad at her it’s going to end up just like it was. Me always wondering if, when you come in at midnight, smelling of burbon is because you had work late and had a couple drinks or were you in a hotel fucking Alicia?” Claire was being honest, if she had learned from their past mistakes it was to be nothing but honest. 

 

Will took a moment to try and form an answer that would convince Claire he was going to be faithful and things truly ended with Alicia. He took her left hand in his and ran his thumb over the back of her hand. “I haven’t been with anyone else in over a year, Claire, I have no intention of being with anyone else but you.” Will reassured. “Alicia betrayed me, that door is closed forever.” Claire doubted that was true but Will wouldn’t have said it to her if hadn’t meant it. “Do I have to worry about you and Cary?” Will asked in a hushed tone. 

 

Claire pulled her hand away as she shook her head. “Will, you know that door is closed just as much as yours with Alicia.” Her eyes were fixed on his as she leaned forward. “I turned down job at his firm…” 

 

“You what?” Will asked quickly not knowing this little detail. “When? Before he left or after.” 

 

“After.” Claire said quickly. “I said no right away and I just didn’t want to upset you more.” Will nodded and they sat for a moment in silence. “This..” She said gesturing between them pointing how quickly things started to devolve into a fight. “..is why we shouldn’t get married.” 

 

Will shook his head and laughed softly. “This is why we should, we keep each other honest.” Claire was now the one laughing nervously. “I’m serious, we are meant to be together.” Will leaned forward and kissed her passionately. “Say yes..” 

 

Claire leaned back and let out a small groan. “Will. We would be a disaster and half Will.” She laughed shaking her head. “We are a fucking ticking time bomb of disaster, or multiple disasters… depending on how vindictive we are.” Will let a dark chuckled out knowing just how bad things could get. Things his peak during his affair with Alicia, Claire testified against him in his grand jury panel. She was subpoenaed, but she was one of the most damning pieces they had against him. Kalinda found out about the affair she was having with Cary and used it to completely discredit her testimony. They almost imploded because of it, but it was also what brought them back together.

 

Claire let out a heavy sigh as she reached out and took his hands.  “But I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with you not in it. If all of our fights have taught me nothing else, it taught me that my life is worse with you not in it.”  Will started smile as she went on. “We have a family, I like our family. Liv is everything… to both of us. She is what brings back together. Every single time.” Will nodded and knew that it was true. Every fight they had in the last few years was ended on the note ‘ _ We can’t do this, Liv deserves better.’  _ and they would put aside whatever petty nonsense they were fighting over and move on. Claire knew that having another child wasn’t going to fix things, but neither was getting married. “If you really want to cement our relationship Will we don’t have to get married, we could just have another kid, Liv is a good age to add another…” 

 

“Don’t be absurd, Claire. You are just about to become a lawyer, this is the career killer time to have a kid.” Her notion was no more absurd than his, yet Will started laughing. He thought the idea of them adding another child to the mix wasn’t completely horrible but it was horrible timing to bring it up. “Last year, would have been great but your first year as an associate, Claire..” He shook his head before he leaned back against the couch. 

 

Claire rolled her eyes and shook her head as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Marriage totally sane… having another kid, when already have one is the absurd idea.” 

 

“Oh yeah, do you really have plans to be the next Patti?” He said with a laugh. Claire had the personality to pull it off, mother of a gaggle of young children and tour de force in the courtroom. The difference with Patti was she was well established before having children. Claire was much the reverse. 

 

Claire scowled as she moved to close to him, resting her head on his chest as she asked sincerely, “Do you really think I couldn’t do it both… mom and badass lawyer?” It was a loaded question. 

 

“It’s not a matter of if I think you can or can not.” Will started. “It’s a matter of one way is going to be infinitely harder for you, for both of us…” Claire knew he was right but that didn’t change much for her. 

 

“I have never done things the easy way, Will.” Claire reminded and all Will could do was nod. “Liv is the perfect age, they will be old enough to know each other and grow up together but far enough apart that Liv can help a little too.” Claire paused for a moment. Trying to remember just how long it took them to get pregnant with Liv, who as much as they both proclaimed she wasn’t planned. Wasn’t not planned either. When Claire remembered she leaned smirked up at Will,  “I wasn’t on birth control for a year before I got pregnant with Liv, it’s not like we are going to back right now. Best case, it’s another year before I even get pregnant.” 

 

Will was thinking about the situation, she wanted to have another baby. He wanted to get married. There was no reason they couldn’t do both. There was no guarantee that she would get pregnant her first year, like she said. He let out a low groan as he wrapped his arms around her.  “Oh you being an actual lawyer while being pregnant this time is slightly terrifying after giving that more thought.” They both laughed, Claire was best described as ‘moody’ and ‘hot tempered’ while pregnant with Liv. He could only imagine how vicious she could get in the courtroom with the added boost of hormones. “Oh god… You… pregnant… versus Patti… also pregnant…” Will was teasing her but the whole mental image of it was rather amusing. “We could sell tickets.” He smirked as he leaned in and kissed her once more. “I am not opposed to the idea of another Gardner… hopefully this time a boy. Not that I would not love another girl… but a boy would be my preference.” Claire smirked as she watched the expression on his face change. “But first, answer my question… will you marry me? Let the next kid not be a bastard.” 

 

“Will…” Claire groaned assuming that he knew the answer but he shook his head. “Yes, I will marry you.” He leaned in and kissed her deeply. Claire’s hands ran up the back of his neck and tangled her hands in his short dark hair pulling him down slightly. He pulled back for a moment and smirked as he ran his hands down her shoulders. Claire let out a happy sigh. 

 

“I will apply for the licences tomorrow, we can do a nice little courthouse wedding” Will muttered softly as he sunk back into the couch. It was the fastest way he could think of for them to just get married. “I don’t want us to wait to fit in some lavish, stupid wedding that neither of us want into schedules that are only going to get more cramped now that we apparently will be trying for a second child as well.” 

 

Claire seemed amused by the idea of getting married in a courthouse. She knew that Diane and Kurt had just had a similar no nonsense wedding a few weeks prior. For a fleeting moment she wondered if that had been what sparked the idea in Will’s mind in the first place. She yawned as she hunkered in against Will, sleepy noting, “Like we don’t spend enough time at the courthouse that you want us to get married there..” 

 

“I just want you to be my wife… where it happens be damned.” His hand brushed away a few strands of her dark hair that has fallen from her messy bun as he leaned in a kissed Claire’s temple. Claire shifted away from, stretching as Will stood up from the couch. “Sleep?” Will asked softly as he offered his hand to Claire as she lazily nodded and stood up slowly, wrapping her arms around his as she rested her head on shoulder. She was beyond tired and he could see it written all over her face. He kissed her forehead and whispered, “Go to bed, baby,  I am going to go say goodnight to Liv. Then I’ll be right in.” Claire said nothing, only nodded in response as she slipped away and settled into their bed waiting for Will to join her shortly. First, he had one more stop to make. His customary peek in on his usually sleeping daughter and an occasional late night conversation between the pair. 

 

Liv’s room used to be Will’s home office, but things change when you children. The room that was now her bedroom was just off the living on the way to the master bedroom. Her wasn’t as girly as one would have expected. Olivia was very much a tom-boy and Will was grateful for that. He always worried what he would have done if Olivia would have been a very girly girl obsessed with Princesses. While there was plenty of evidence a little girl inhabited the room with dolls and dollhouse in the corner of her room. There were  also space posters on the wall and several sports posters as well. Olivia was child of varied interests and Will was proud of that. He felt it would make her a well rounded adult on day. Will leaned against the door frame, just watching her for a few minutes before the little girl started to stir. Olivia was just five, but she far too smart for her own good. Another fact that Will was rather proud of. So it was no surprise to him when he watched roll over and her little hazel eyes pop open looking over at him. She smiled and waved at him. Will wanted to sound angry and scold her for being up, but he so rarely got to see her awake as of late he couldn’t help go soft on her. “Go back to bed peanut.” He urged in a hushed tone, not wanting to wake Claire if she had fallen back asleep.  

 

“Daddy…” Olivia mumbled sleepy as she rubbed her eyes before reaching out towards her father. Every time she called him Daddy hit him in the chest. This sweet, melodic reminder that he was responsible for her, responsible for making sure she was better than he was. Will knew he failed at time as father, putting his work before his family but he knew that he couldn’t keep doing it. He needed to find balance, for Liv. “Daddy..” She repeated sleepy, this time sitting up slightly. He gave in, Will smirked as he walked into the bedroom and over to his daughter’s bedside. 

 

“It’s late,” Will whispered as he leaned down and kissed Olivia’s forehead and pushed her messy hair out of her face. “You should be sleeping, if your mother knew you were up right now. Do you understand the amount of hell I would get.” 

 

Olivia smirked up at her father, it was his smirk. “I’m worth it..” She had the smuggest grin on her face and Will could see so much of himself in her in that moment. She always looked so much like his sister Sarah, that he could see himself in her looks. What delighted Will more so, was how much of his personality she had inherited. 

 

“You are all sass, you know that.” He teased her as he sat down on her bed. He ran his hand through her messy, dark locks. “Don’t lose that, learn when to use it… but don’t lose it.” Will leaned down and kissed his daughter’s forehead. 

 

“Okay, daddy…” Liv answer back with yawn. “Can we go to the Cubs game this weekend?” Will smiled at her question. “Just you and me… no mommy.” 

 

Her request hit him like a ton of bricks, he wanted to say yes, but he knew there was a chance he was going to get called into work. “We’ll see,” Liv looked up at him knowing why he didn’t give her a definitive answer without Will even explaining himself. It was always the same reason. Work.  “I’m sorry I work so much.” He confessed softly. 

 

Olivia smiled up at him as she yawned. “It’s okay daddy, it's what you do… help people.” Will chuckled softly at his daughter’s very basic understanding of his job. How did he get so lucky to have such an understanding child. “But we have to go soon. I miss you.” He rubbed her back in a small circle as he leaned in. 

 

“Soon peanut, I promise.” Will swore to himself, if it was in his power he would get a day off to spend with his daughter in the next week. His business plans, his revenge against the betrayal of Alicia and Cary wasn’t worth losing his family over. He needed to finally set his priorities straight. “Yeah, but I think after this case things are going to need to change.” Will started softly as he pulled the blanket up around her shoulders and tucked her back in. “We are going to be spending a lot more time as family, Livie, I promise.” He kissed her forehead again and turned her nightlight back on as he moved back to the doorway. “Goodnight..” 

 

“Night daddy…” Olivia yawned as she looked up at him in the distance. “I love you.” 

 

“I love you too kiddo but go back to bed, you have school in the morning.”  


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \+ Present + 
> 
> Diane sees Olivia for the first in over a year, Claire and Diane discuss just how much support she has at the firm and we get Claire's answer to Diane's job offer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohai, so I like to talk to my readers in my notes... I like to think it's my little commentary section... any who... 
> 
> I really hope you are enjoying the story. Like I said, I spent a lot of time working over this whole complicated web of a plot. I am really tying to give it some depth. Adding an OC into any story and making them feel flushed out and that they fit in this world is a challenge. I am trying to make sure I am establishing the proper relationships and making sure that Claire is fairly tangible and relatable character. It's hard and I really hope I am achieving this. 
> 
> The next few chapters are heavy on background, the peripheral relationships beyond just Claire's with Will and her friendship with Diane. I am trying to find that delicate balance of establishing solid character history for Claire. I am trying to push the plot forward was well but it's a blance to make that happen without info dumping. I am really hoping I don't info dump... 
> 
> the next chapter will have my HC for the face claims/actors for Claire and her siblings... who get mentioned and kind introduced next chapter... oh gods I am just getting ahead of myself now... onto the chapter before I make myself sound completly bat shit crazy.

 

**Present**

 

Diane stood in her office, watching Olivia as she started to be overcome with emotion. She cursed herself for being so selfish and not thinking how coming back here would have affected the young child. The bulk of the little girl’s memories of her father must have been in his office, in this place. “How could you be so blind” Diane mumbled as she took a deep breath and tried to put on her best smile as she walked towards the door, but she paused the moment her hand gripped the door handle. The smile faded away, it wasn’t right for her to be bright and cheery when Olivia was so distraught. Daine swung the door open and stepped out. Instantly Olivia’s eyes met her and she opened her arms. “Olivia.” She greeted with a touch a warmth in her voice. 

 

Olivia slipped away from her mother's arms and raced into Diane’s arms. She had remembered Diane always being around when she came to visit. Always the person to sneak her candy or surprise her with some new toy or book. “Auntie Diane…” Liv mumbled as she wrapped her arms around the older woman. Diane smoothed the young girl’s dark hair and she glanced up at Claire. 

 

They shared a somber look as Diane mouthed “I didn’t think..” Claire shook her head and waved her hand trying to dismiss the conseren. They both should have considered that Olivia was not ready to see someone else in Will’s office. Claire even more than Diane, should have known, having had her own emotional break at the sight just days before. However, Claire also knew that Olivia would never be able to grasp the fact that Will was really gone till she saw certain things with her own eyes. 

 

The older woman wrapped her arms tightly around the girl she viewed as her niece as she fought back tears herself. It had been over a year since she had last held or even seen Olivia. Will’s funeral was the last time, she had looked so young, so innocent, and so confused that day. They all had been, most of that day still remained a blur of grief. “I missed you Aunt Diane.” Olivia confessed as she looked up at Diane with tears still streaming down her cheeks. 

 

Olivia’s soft works were like knives, cutting Diane deep. She should have been there for her, for Claire.  She promised herself she had to do better by them, she had to take a more active role in not only Olivia’s life but Claire’s as well. Daine leaned down and kissed the top of Olivia’s head as he whispered “Oh I missed you too my sweet girl.” as she wiped the child’s tears away  as she looked over at Claire. Claire was dressed in rather nice suit looking like she had just come from court. “Don’t you look lovely Claire…” Diane noted with a kind smile. “That suit fits you perfectly.” Claire’s cheeks flushed a pale pink, slightly embarrassed by Diane’s complement. 

 

A soft, breathy chuckle escaped Claire's deep red lips, “I had court this morning,” Claire notted as she smoothed her skirt as walked closer to Diane and her daughter. As they walked into to Diane’s office Liv wandered over to Diane’s desk and started to search for the candy dish she had always kept. The dish was crystal and Liv recalled Diane scolding her on more than one occasion to wait for her to lift the lid. Olivia glanced back at Diane who had been standing next to Claire. “She remembers..” Claire pointed out with a half hearted chuckle. 

 

Diane walked over to her desk and lifted the delicate lid, glancing down at Olivia who seemed to have calmed down a bit now that her father’s office was out of sight for the moment. “There is chocolate down towards the bottom..” Diane whispered leaning down for a moment before turning back to join Claire who stood in the corner, her arms crossed in front of her chest. It was a spot that Diane had seen Will stand in, in a similar stance, with a similar contemplative expression painted across his face countless times before. She thought it rather amusing that of all the spots Claire picked, she picked that particular one.   _ “They were a matched set…” _ Diane silently noted as she moved next to Claire, placing a supportive arm around her shoulders. “So, how did court go?” Diane asked, genuinely curious how her career was going.

 

Claire chuckled softly. “It was just a motion for a continuance… nothing special.” Claire hadn’t really had a fully fledged case go to trial yet. She had helped negotiate a few plea deals, but nothing more. Will had taught her how to be a trial lawyer, that’s what she had always expected to be. While she felt like she was doing good, she also felt like her talents were just being wasted. “It’s all contousinces and plea bargains... “ Claire added a little bitterly as she turned back to Diane. “I really thought… I would have tried at least one real case by now.” 

 

“It’s 95% paper work the first few years, even here.” Diane reminded. Will had always told Claire that if she didn’t like paperwork and playing hurry up and wait, that she shouldn’t become a lawyer. If she wanted action, become a cop. 

 

Claire watched Olivia as she carefully unwrapped each piece of candy before popping it in her mouth. Her daughter was a mess and there was little voice in the back of mind that told her Will would have been so embarrassed to have his daughter show up at his offices looking like she did. Without much thought Claire mumbled,  “Sorry she is a mess, I was going to go throw her in the shower before we came but I didn’t have as much time as I thought I did.” Claire didn’t want to have to explain to Diane why she was in such a rush, that would have been too hard of a conversation to have. So she left it vague, quickly adding “Olivia had her first basketball practice at the YMCA.” To try and push the conversation forward.

 

Diane smirked over at Claire, Will would have been proud of his daughter. Diane took a few steps away from Claire and motioned for Olivia to come over to her. She obliged, with two pieces of candy in each hand. Once Olivia was close enough Diane leaned forward and got down to her level as much as she could. “You will have to let me know when your first game is, I will make it a point to come.” Olivia nodded as Diane smiled. She pointed towards the couch. “Can you sit over there for just a few minutes, while mommy and I talk?.” She reached over onto her desk and picked up her iPhone and unlocking it. “I have that Angry Birds game,” Diane explained and Olivia snatched the phone excitedly from her hands. 

 

“Thank you!” Olivia exclaimed happily as she got comfortable on the couch, the soft music of the game filling the silence as Diane walked back over to have as hushed conversation. 

 

Claire bent down and set her briefcase on the floor. Diane made a note that it was the one that Will had gotten her the day Claire passed the Bar. It was something that few people would have noticed beyond Diane. As Claire stood back up, Diane reached out taking her Claire’s hand as she asked “Have you given any more thought on coming here?” Claire nodded silently and Diane smirked waiting for a better answer. 

 

Claire sighed and she smiled weakly. “Will wanted it, it was part of his grand plan.” Claire answered softly as she looked over at Olivia who was still happily playing cell phone games. “This is where I would have been if Will hadn’t been killed.” Her gaze shifted back to Diane who seemed quite pleased with her answer. “He would have had me in court, months after passing the bar… he couldn’t wait for us to try a case together, for real… with me sitting second chair.”  Claire’s soft smiled masked the fact she was still nervous about the prospect of working here. “What do the partners say?” Claire asked, she didn’t want to think about what strings Diane had to pull to get Claire considered for a position so Diane’s answer surprised her. 

 

“It was unanimous in favor..” Daine answered brightly as she reached out and placed a hand on her arm. “Everyone want you back with us, your family.” Diane explained. Canning was the lone voice of dissension about the hire, it was David Lee of all people that backed Canning into a corner about hiring Claire. Despite their disputes and outwardly hostile relationship, David was surprisingly fond of Claire going back to her days as one of his assistants. Diane didn’t want to tell her the truth but in the end, it was unanimous. “Come in tomorrow and sign the paperwork. We will get you situated or do you need to give your current job more notice?” 

 

Claire shrugged, the truth was she had been looking for a new job for quite some time. If Diane hadn’t had offered, she was going to finally give Cary an answer about the job he kept offering her at his and Alicia’s firm. “No, I can start right away..” Claire said firmly. Withholding her own piece of information. It wasn’t like she had talked to Cary face to face in months, most of their conversation had been over the phone or e-mail, but she didn’t think that Diane would like the fact that Cary was back in her life. Even just in the smallest way. 

 

“Good…” Diane said with a smile. She was about to say something else but Diane remembered she had something else for Claire in her purse. “I have something for you, just a little something to help ease some of your stress..” Diane paused for a moment and turned back to her desk. She started to riffle through her purse looking for a check she had written out several days before.

 

“Diane…” Claire started to protest, lifting her hands and shaking her head. 

 

“This is not from the firm.” Diane started, as she riffled through her purse. Once she found it she turned back around and started to walk back over to Claire.  “I talked to Kurt after you left the other day and we both want to help.” She explained as she shoved the envelope in Claire’s hand. Claire shoved the envelope back in Diane’s hand in protest. “We love you, we love Olivia… Will was my best friend… please don’t fight me on this.” Claire was shaking her head as Diane pushed the envelope back in Claire’s hands. “Do you really want me to go back to Kurt and tell him you refused his help? Do you want that cowboy to show up at your door and shove the cash in your hand? Hm? Because that’s what he wanted to do.”  She wrapped her hand around Claire’s and squeezed it to reinforce that she really needed to take Diane’s generous gift. 

 

Claire knew she was not going to get out of the office without taking Diane and Kurt’s money. Kurt had a very special spot in Claire’s heart, he reminded her of her late father with his unapologetically conservative views and independent personality. She knew that he was not a man that gave help of this nature to just anyone. Claire felt rather special that both Kurt and Diane chose to be so generous. “I don’t know when I can repay you Diane..” Claire started but Diane was quick to cut her off.

 

 “It’s a gift.” Diane emplored and Claire slowly nodded. She would repay Diane back in working her hardest at the firm, it was the least she could do. “It should be enough to get your rent out of arrears, catch up on the bills and have a little money to live off of until payroll is set up.” As Diane spoke Claire was choking back tears as she peaked at the amount on the check and was instantly at a loss for words. “I hope you don’t get upset with me, but I did let several of the partners know about the situation you were in.” Diane started in a very cautious tone. She knew that Claire didn’t want people’s pitty, she never did. She did however, need help. At least for the time being and there were people there who wanted to help. “I needed David to find Will’s estate plans, so he was going to know regardless. Julius overheard David asking a question and it just progressed from there…” 

 

Claire let out a low groan. “Diane I really don’t need all this, we are getting by… really.” 

 

“They want to help, Claire.” Diane continued. “It’s their way to honor Will’s memory, what he gave to this firm.” Claire nodded once more as she motioned for Diane to continue. The older woman glanced back at Olivia. “David has offered to pay for her education, at least for the time being.” Claire was shocked. David Lee was the most selfish and self centered man she knew. For a time, both before and while she was pregnant, she filled in as his assistant before he had a full time second assistant. He was hard on her, always giving her a hard time about how she either was too slow or too stupid to keep up. She almost killed him on half a dozen occasions over the comments he made. She had never expected such generosity from a man she thought hated her. “Julius offered to help fund any of her extra curricular activities, sports, dance… whatever she wants. He also told me to make sure you knew that Olivia is welcome to come over and play with his children anytime. He would love to have her. ”Diane was smiling and she knew how overwhelming this must be for Claire. 

 

Tears rolled down Claire’s pale cheeks, stained black with her mascara. “This is all a lot..” Claire muttered as she glanced at Olivia who was still blissfully unaware of the conversation taking place just a few feet away. Claire laughed softly as she wiped the tears away. “I really thought David hated me…” 

 

Diane laughed as she wrapped her arms around Claire giving her tight hug. “David doesn’t hate you, I have known him for many years and he shows his affection in odd ways.” Diane laughed softly. “David has always been one of your champions, Claire.” Claire laughed softly, “I’m serious, back when Will brought it before the partners to hire after you passed the bar… it was only David and myself that took no issue with it.”  “Will’s family may have turned their backs on you, but we are going to throw everything we have at them and make sure you and Olivia are taken care the way Will would have wanted regardless...He was loved by a lot of people here.”

 

 Diane turned back and saw Olivia sitting in her office, eating candy and couldn’t help but think back to the day that Will told her that he was going to be a father.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> +Flashback+ 
> 
> Will comes to Diane with life changing news... we also learn out first bit about Claire's rather interesting family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One challenge I had with the story is creating Claire's family, because family is a central theme of this story, I knew when I started this they were going to play a role in the over all story. My original idea what to actually have Claire be someone already on the show's daughter (David Lee was one of original ideas) but I couldn't find anyone that would work well with the rest of my story. So it left me with the task to try and flesh out a whole family and their own unique history. I have never created this many OC's for a story, and spent a good deal of time giving each of them some backstory. 
> 
> I am a very visual person so I need to put faces to characters... so I cast the whole family.... 
> 
> Most of the actors I pictured for the characters are fairly well known but I did include some of their popular works incase you are not familiar. I don't really post too much on tumblr any more but if anyone wants to see the mock ups for photos I did during my "casting" let me know and I will go make a sub blog for any visual stuff like mock ups and mood boards (because I make them a lot to try and set the scene in my mind) for this story.
> 
> So Donovan Clan Faceclaim time!
> 
> Claire Gardner (Donovan) - Kat Dennings (2 Broke Girls) - Our main OC, I love Kat...she is always my go to HC for OC's...  
> James "Jimmy" Donovan - Alan Rickman (Harry Potter) - Okay, yes I know he has passed but I read a while back the Christine Baranski really wanted to have Alan guest star on the Good Wife (He would have been amazing... and I am still so sad he passed) so... yeah... He would play Claire's father.  
> Patrick "Pat" Donovan - Noel Fisher (Shameless) - I loved him on Shameless... He would play Claire's twin brother.   
> Colin Donovan - Tom Ellis (Lucifer) - Another actor I adore, he would play one of Claire's older brothers, an investigator at the SA's office and a friend of Cary Agos.   
> Andrew "Drew" Donovan - Jon Bernthal (Punisher & The Walking Dead) - He would be Claire's eldest brother who has ties to Lemond Bishop  
> Katherine "Kay" Kerrin (Donovan) - Yael Stone (Orange is the New Black) - Claire's eldest sister, her main source of support and the person who frequently watches Claire's daughter Olivia.   
> Fiona Daniels (Donovan) - Alison Brie (Glow) - Claire's younger sister, not featured as much as the other but is brought up a few times. 
> 
> So... with that out of the way. On to the chapter!

**6 years and 7 months before Will’s murder** . 

 

It was early, Diane had barely set her purse down when Will came casually walking into her office, like he did on most mornings. As soon as Diane laid eyes on him she could see that something was up. He seemed like he was acting too calm, like it was an act.  “I have news.” He was so nonchalant in the way he spoke, but Diane could tell instantly tell from the look in Will’s eyes he was fairly nervous about whatever he was going to tell her and was trying very hard to cover it up. 

 

“Good morning to you too, Will.” Diane laughed as she sat down behind her desk and motioned for Will to take a seat as well. “Is this good news or bad news?” Diane asked softly and Will shrugged with a little smirk.

 

“It’s news, news… it can be taken whatever way you desire.” He said flatly as he unbuttoned his jacket as he sat down in his usual spot and very casually revealed. “Claire’s pregnant…” Though his face showed no emotion, Diane could tell by the fact he didn’t look her in the eye that he was fairly terrified at the news himself. Anyone who knew Will, knew that he was not the settle down and  have a couple of kids type of guy. 

 

The news took a moment for Diane to process. “Excuse me?” Diane asked quickly, still not believing that the words she thought she had heard just came from his mouth. 

 

“Claire is pregnant. 14 weeks…”

 

“Our Claire?  _ Your Claire _ ?” Diane asked before he could finish still in shock as she leaned forward. She didn’t like to make a habit of referring to women as someone’s property, but in Diane’s mine. Claire was… Will’s Claire. Claire had been Will’s secretary for years, since she was barely out of high school. Her father was a friend of Jonas Stern and Claire was hired on as a favor to him. Diane knew that at some point in the last few years some sort of affair began between the pair, but she had no idea the relationship had gotten so serious. Diane had thought, like most people who had figured the affair out, that Claire was just a passing thing. Just another notch in Will’s bed post, who would disappear when he got bored of her. 

 

“Yes.” He answered simply. “My Claire..”  Still not looking up at Diane. The fact he was avoiding eye contact spoke volumes to Diane. Will was a very direct man, he was the type to look you in the eye if he had issues with you. So for him to almost seem ashamed by this, spoke to just how concerned Will was about Diane’s reaction.

 

Diane let out a long sigh, concerned that Will had unintellay gotten them into some serious trouble. “The baby is yours?” Her words were sharp with good reason. Claire was still an employee of Lockhart/Gardner, working under someone else but Will was still a named partner. If the baby was his this was opening them up to all sorts of legal issues Diane never expected to deal with. 

 

“Yes, I believe so.” Will stated simply, glancing up at Diane for the first time. “We plan on doing a DNA test once the baby is born for formality's sake, but Claire hasn’t been with anyone else in years.”  Will explained in a very calm tone as leaned back in the chair, folding his hands in his lap. 

 

“Years….” Diane said in rather pointed tone. She knew the pair had been together for a little over a year, or so she thought. She had caught them one night in his office, if it had been anyone else it could have been a disaster, but years. That meant the affair was going on while she working direction under him. She pinched the bridge of her nose and groaned “Years…” She could have hit him in that moment. Glancing back up she took a long, soothing breathing as she tried to quell her rage.  Diane sincerely wondered if Will grasped just how much legal trouble they could possibly be opening themselves up to because he couldn’t keep it in his pants. “How long have you know?” Again her tone was sharp, like a mother scolding her child. 

 

Will felt very much like a child being scolded as he sank back in the chair. “For a few weeks,” Will started as he shifted in his chair finally showing about of emotion as he continued. “A few weeks back, Claire left early…” There was a hint of anger in his tone. Will paused as Diane looked at him trying to remember the time he was talking about. “Well, Claire almost lost the baby. David was having her run all over, carrying 30 pounds of files She didn’t want to tell anyone that she was pregnant…  then she started spotting.” Diane’s mouth hung open as he explained the situation. The anger becoming more present with each word he spoke. “I can’t remember what the technical terms were, but she tore something, bled a little, has to take it easy but the baby is fine.” 

 

Diane let out a sigh of relief as she mumbled “Thank goodness for that.” It came out far more sarcastic than she had intended. 

 

Will straightened up in his chair for a moment as he took a deep breath. He really just wanted this conversation to end. “So, we put off telling anyone till the doctors told Claire things were in the clear… which was yesterday.” Will answered plainly as he kept his eyes cast down. Will wasn’t ashamed, he was nervous. He never expected to have children, he wanted them but his life was not conducive to being a father and he knew that much. 

 

“So that was your afternoon meeting?” Will nodded and Diane let out a small sigh. She wanted to be angry with him for keeping such an important piece of news from her but Diane couldn’t bring herself to be all that angry for too long. She was happy for Will and Claire. Not having children was something Diane always regretted and she was happy that in some small way she was going to be able to experience raising a child through Will. She let out a small sigh as she leaned back in her chair and glanced up at Will. “Everything is alright though, the pregnancy is healthy?” 

 

“Yeah, she is going to resign next week and focus on school. She is going to be starting Law School.”  He seemed rather proud as he shared that little piece of information, Diane noted. 

 

“Law School? Where?”

 

“She applied to Northwestern and Depaul, we are waiting to hear back.” Will’s tone was still so matter of fact, like he was in court. Diane tried not to smirk because she knew that he was nervous. This was a time of great change in his life, both of them started realise. 

 

“How were her LSAT scores?” 

 

Will smirked as he cocked his eyebrow. “Truth?” Diane nodded now her interest was really piqued. “Better than mine.” He was proud of her, and it showed in his tone. “She is going to have her pick. I know she will.” 

 

“Good for her” Diane chuckled do herself. “It’s really brave when you think of it.” Will nodded agreeing with her fully. “I mean, her first year she will be pregnant… then to finish out the rest of law school with such a young child.” Diane shook her head. There was no way that she could have ever done that.  She had always liked Claire, from the little she knew of her. She seemed like a bright girl, very passionate. Always eager to lend a hand on cases when it was needed, usually with a witty remark or joke to lighten the usually tense mood. It was easy to see why Will became enamored with her. 

 

 A year prior Claire had brought Diane a letter she wrote to the Innocence Project to help with some brother of her’s appeal on a murder charge. She was very passionate about making sure justice was done. She appealed to Diane’s morals and it took little persuasion for Diane to lend a hand. Diane helped her reword it so it was far more concise and got her point across clearly. Now, last Diane knew, a team of lawyers was reviewing his case. As she recalled the memory, it dawned on her way Claire was becoming a lawyer. “She is doing this for her brother, isn’t she?” 

 

Will nodded glancing up at Diane. “Patrick…” He started leaning forward. “He’s her twin brother. He’s been in jail since, a week after they turned 18.” It was a sad story, it was what had intrigued Will the most about Claire early on, before their relationship ever began. Her sense of undying loyalty to her brother through out everything and her willingness to do whatever she had to prove his innocence. 

 

Diane shook her head, she couldn’t imagine the pain of feeling like your twin, of all people, was wrongly convicted of murder. “Is he innocent?” Diane questioned softly. 

 

Will shrugged. “Maybe.” Claire was convinced of his innocence but he had reviewed the case. It was debatable. “I see why the cops pegged him. The girl was an ex of his, he had a record, fighting, drugs, under age drinking… but Claire swears he was with her the whole night.” Diane nodded listing to Will explain what he knew. “They never took Claire seriously because she was his twin sister. Not to mention, she refused to go on the stand.” 

 

“Why?” 

 

Will raised his hand and made air quotes. “Donovan’s don’t fucking snitch, we ain’t touts…” Will did his best impression of Claire and Diane tried not to laugh as it was a rather serious conversation. 

 

“Touts?” Diane asked stumped by the term that Will had just thrown out.    
  


“I said the same thing, it’s apparently some relic of her dad’s days in Belfast.” 

 

Diane’s eyes grew wide when he mentioned Belfast. She couldn’t even let her mind go to the questions she wanted to ask. “I don’t want to know..” Will knew exactly what she was thinking because it was the first thing that had crossed his mind as well. 

 

“Oh, he absolutely was in the IRA, he had to be… He owns a bar, on the south side. I guess he gets by..” Will had only met Claire’s father once, when picked her up from her father’s bar. He was an intimidating and sullen man. Claire rarely spoke of him, most of what Will actually knew about Jimmy Donovan came from the other named partner of the firm.”Him and Stern are friends, they apparently go way back...” Will obviously thought this was highly amusing to share with Diane who had very little idea about who Claire really was. Diane was stifling herself from saying what she really wanted to, Will could see her stopping herself every few seconds as she went to speak. “Go on… just get it out..” 

 

“Will you can fucking pick them… really.” Diane exclaimed utterly in shock of the whole situation. “You pick… you former secretary, who’s twin brother is in jail for murder… who’s father was probably in the IRA and at very least is crooked enough to be friends Stern, to have a child with.” Diane shook her head in disbelief. “I mean… Will…” 

 

“In her defense,” Will began. “Claire is one of six kids, there was bound to be one or two that would fuck up.” Will started as he stood up. “Her older brother, Colin… you know him. Colin Donovan.” 

 

“The investigator at the SA’s office?”

 

“Yeah,” Will said nodding. “He comes to my pick up games on occasion, it was really awkward when Claire came by for the first time and he was there.” He chuckled darkly recalling the fight that happened between the siblings. 

 

Diane sighed, “Oh, Colin being her brother is so much comfort!” Colin Donovan had a reputation of being a fairly ruthless investigator not afraid of going into a grey area to get the information he needed. She knew of one other Donovan and wondered if he was also somehow related to Claire. “Please tell me Andrew Donovan isn’t one of her brothers as well?” Diane didn’t know the man personally, only by what she had seen in the news. He owned a private security firm that had been in the news for being linked with notorious drug dealer Lemond Bishop. Will smiled weakly and nodded  “The fucking Donovans…” Diane groaned. 

 

Will knew the reputation Claire’s family had. Claire never minced words about it when he brought it up but she had worked to separate herself as much as possible for the less than savory side of her family. “Seriously Diane?” Will was a little upset. It wasn’t Diane’s life that these people were going to be involved with it was his. 

 

“You are getting into bed with criminals Will….” Diane was worried and Will just brushed it off shrugging. “Claire is a nice girl, but her family is going to get you into a world of trouble.” 

 

“Her family is going to make us a lot of money…” Will pointed out. “Claire already got Andrew to agree to a meeting to cover his business.” Diane leaned forward and raised a questioning eyebrow. “1.6 Million in billable hours…” Will leaned forward. “Stern already handles her father’s legal issues and I am sure if we really wanted him, Claire could talk Colin into coming here too.” 

 

“Just what we need…” Diane groaned as she sunk back in her chair once more. She knew they couldn’t turn away that money, but she couldn’t believe that the funny, bubbly secretary she saw for years at Will’s desk was quite so connected. “Well, I guess it’s not wholly bad… but getting into bed with these people opens up a lot of questions from our other clients.” 

 

“We tell them we represent them as a favor because they are family. End of story.” 

 

Will was so matter of fact when he spoke, Diane knew had given this far more than a passing thought. “Well I guess we can’t change the situation now, can we…” Diane murmured. 

 

“Not really,” Will shrugged. He knew that the situation was going to be complicated moving forward but Claire made him happy. He was actually starting to come around to the idea of being a father and having a family of his own. “We just are going to make the best of this alright.” 

 

Diane sighed softly and nodded slowly. “I suppose that’s the best choice, given the circumstances.” Diane’s mind wandered back to Claire. Will had mentioned that she would be resigning from her position at the firm. Instantly Diane was concerned what she was going to do to support herself and eventually the child.  “What is she going to do for money.” Diane asked cautiously, quite worried about the answer. 

 

“Claire moved in with me last week,” Will confessed. “I’m going to support her so she can focus on the baby and school.” Diane shot him a mildly disapproving look. While she was proud of Will for stepping up and taking care of his responsibility. She was also deeply concerned that Claire would end up using him. “Diane, this isn’t a new relationship..” 

 

Diane’s eyes narrowed. “How long?” 

“We have been sleeping together for four years, the relationship has been the past three.. Off and on a bit but we are fairly solid.” He was back to being unable to look at Diane. While he wasn’t ashamed of the relationship but he still wasn’t ready for it to be public knowledge. Claire was younger than him and an employee. People who didn't know the situation would pass judgement, just like Diane had. 

 

“Off and on” Diane pointed out quickly and Will rolled his eyes. 

 

“We are very much on, Diane.” Will reminded, his tone taking a defensive turn once more. 

 

Diane leaned forward and rested her arms on her desk. Will knew she was about to ask a pointed question. “She isn’t out for your money or to sue you?” Will’s jaw clenched as he shook his head. “She didn’t do this to manipulate you in any way…”

 

“Diane… enough.” Will barked as he stood up ready to end this conversation. “Here’s the truth, I knew she had went off birth control 6 months ago, because he was getting migraines. It's what her doctor told her to try and it helped.” He started as he buttoned up his jacket. “I knew the risks, so did she. We knew full well she could get pregnant.” As he was forced to defend not only his relationship but the choice they made to keep the baby it dawned on him. “I love her.” He declared. “Deep down, I wanted this baby.” 

 

“Will..” Diane started but he cut her off quickly. 

 

“You are my partner, I consider you a good friend, Diane” Will started as he moved towards the door. “You have two choices, either be happy for us and be a part of this kid’s life… or don’t.” Will paused. They shared a look and Diane nodded knowing that she really had only one option, even with her misgivings about Claire’s family. 

 

“Then I am happy for you Will, and for Claire…” Diane declared as she stood up and quickly strode around her desk and gave Will a hug. “I only worry because I care about you, and want what’s best.” 

 

“This is…” Will answered before they parted ways to start their separate days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS. Thanks to my hubby for watching our little guy so I could finish this part a little earlier than I was expecting. I had most of it edited last night and planned to do a double update this morning but ran out of time to finish the back half before I had some things to take care of. So yay and stuff! 
> 
> Thanks again for all the lovely comments. They really mean so much because this started as way to pass the time for during some fairly difficult points over the past year in my personal life. I didn't think it would be well received as the fandom generally is very pro Alicia and Will being together and happily ever after for them. Which I love to read but I wanted to write something different. Thank you all so much for giving it chance <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Present 
> 
> Claire's gets ready to go to her first day working at Will's old firm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in this chapter we get to meet Claire's brother Patrick! Which ended up being a fun little back and forth. 
> 
> One thing I really wanted to show with this chapter is how much Claire's emotions are ruling her at this point and how little things easily send her into a bit of an emotional spiral. 
> 
> I really enjoy getting comments, so thank you very much to all those who take the time to leave me a little note! Also thanks to just anyone who is reading it <3 
> 
> on to the chapter!

**Present**

 

The mood in Claire’s home the next morning was tense. Her twin brother Patrick, had been running late from his third shift job so it had thrown off Claire’s whole morning. She stood in the kitchen, with her coffee cup in her hand trying to take a moment to clear her mind when he finally walked through the door, apologizing as he entered. “I know, I am fucking late… you don’t even have to start.” Claire glared at her brother out of the corner of the eye as he tossed his keys on the coffee table and set his backpack on the couch. 

 

“You are going to make me late, my first day…” Claire scolded as she took a sip from her perch in the kitchen. Her twin brother had been her rock after Will died. He had been living with her for the last eight months and even took a third shift job to still be able to help her with childcare while proving some income. 

 

Patrick made his way into the kitchen and picked up the empty coffee cup that Claire had left for him on the counter and motioned for her to hand him her cup as well. “It’s not even 6:30… you don’t have to be there till 9, you have over an hour before you have to  even think about leaving.” Claire continued to glower at her brother as she handed her cup over. “You need to relax.. You have lost all your chill and it’s tragic.” Patrick was trying to make her laugh, it’s what he did but he wasn’t lying. Claire was always the most easy going of their siblings and all that seemed to vanish the second Will cheated on her years before. 

 

Claire rolled her eyes as Patrick handed her back her cup, now full. “I’m a lawyer we have no chill… when have you met a chill lawyer.” 

 

“Will.” Patrick started with a smirk. “Cary…” He added as he pulled a stool over and sat down. “You found the two chillest lawyers and slept with them both.” Claire scowled at her twin and he reached over and patted her arm. “I’m just giving you shit.” He clarified. Claire’s expression softened.

 

Laughing as she tried to sip her coffee, “Will was not chill…” she mumbled into the cup. 

 

Patrick laughed softly. “He had his moments of non-chill but most of the time he was pretty chill…” Claire nodded, Will was fairly easy going away from work. Which is where Patrick had seem him the most so it made sense to her that he would view Will in such a light. 

 

Claire set her cup down on the counter. “Cary was pretty chill… even in court.” In the last few days she had thought about him more than she would have cared to admit. There was a part of her that felt bad for not taking his job offer, even before Will died, she should have taken the offer. It was the smart thing to do, break away from Will and forge her own path. 

 

“Cary was alright…” Patrick mused as he riffled through the bowl of fruit on the counter picking out a granny smith apple and wiping it on his shirt. “I mean, in that whole Team Will/Team Cary nonsense I was decidedly Team Claire.” Claire laughed softly as she recalled the one time her siblings had discussed this whole thing in front of her. “I remained a neutral party…” 

 

During her separation with Will, while she was seeing Cary her siblings were split on who they felt would be the best person for Claire. Not that their opinions factored in Claire’s choice, but they had always been involved in her life to an extreme degree at times. Team Will was headed up by Katherine. She was fond of Will, thought he was a good, stabilizing force in Claire’s life. She was backed up by Andrew, who was one of Will’s clients. As well as their late Father, who gave Will all his legal work after Stern’s split from the firm years prior. Both men had their legal fees deeply discounted by Will, and Claire often wondered if their affection for him was more based on the fact they wanted his skills at a discount. They were quiet and respectful about the whole thing. Unlike the extremely vocal minority of Team Cary, was led by Colin. Colin had invested interest in his younger sister being with Cary as he had become good friends with him during their shared time in SA’s office. Fiona, her youngest sister, sided with Colin because she thought Cary was better looking than Will and closer to her age. They loved to tell Claire all about how much better off she was with Cary. They all stopped when Claire got back together Will but Claire thought it funny that Patrick of all people stayed neutral. 

 

“You should have been Team Will…” Claire pointed out with half smirk.“You do know he got you out of jail..” Claire added with a little laugh and Patrick shrugged. 

 

“You got me out of jail, Will was your mouthpiece and law licence.” Patrick knew who put the most hours in on his case. Who wrote almost all of Will’s notes for trial. Claire was shaking her head and Patrick persisted. “No, you don’t get pass credit off on Will because he is dead, or was good in bed, or whatever you foolish reason is to let that man take your first court win away from you…” Patrick held up his hand to silence his twin as she stood with her mouth open. “I sat next to him the whole time, I saw your handwriting all over his notes. You won that case, so take the win Claire…” 

 

Claire smirked turned slightly devious as she lifted her coffee up and whispered “Will was very good in bed..” Her grin was sheepish and Patrick just started to shake his head.

 

“Every great lie ever all goes back to great sex…” Patrick remarks as he takes a drink of his coffee. “I mean, do you really miss him… or do you just miss the sex?” Claire knew he was teasing her now that he had gotten her laughing, he wanted to keep her good mood going. 

 

“Can’t I miss him and the sex?” Claire asked laughing. “I mean I miss him. I definitely just miss him more.” Claire wasn’t sad talking about Will with Patrick. Most people, she could only take so much but with Patrick it was different. He never wanted to talk about how Will died, he only ever wanted to hear about his life. Which made the difference for his sister. 

 

“You know what I really miss, Pat.” Her brother shook his.  “The way he made my coffee in the morning, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t get it to taste the same.” Patrick smiled as she shared little bits of their lives that even he didn’t know. “Or, the fact that the one thing he could cook was scrambled eggs, so any time I left him and Liv to fend for themselves for dinner… it was always take out or scrambled eggs. Between the two options, Liv always picked scrambled eggs too” Claire was recalling several occasions while she was in her last year of law school where such a thing happened. “Most of the time if I ran late, when I got home I would find them sitting right there.” She pointed to the corner of the couch. “She would be tucked under his arm, his feet up on the table… which I hate...:” Patrick chuckled knowing all too well just how much his sister hated feet on her coffee table. “And between them one plate of scrambled eggs… the two of them picking away while whatever was on ESPN.” 

 

Patrick put his coffee down and walked over to his sister and wrapped his arms around her. “Will was a fucking awesome dad.” Patrick declared as he gave her a peck on the cheek. “You are fucking badass mom…don’t forget it.” He took her head in his hands and forced her to look at him. “You hear me. You are a badass bitch and don’t let those trust fund shit head make you forget who you are and where you come from. You are still just little Claire Donovan, from the South Side to them. No fancy Harvard or Georgetown degree…” 

 

Claire nodded as his hands slipped away. “I know who I am, Pat..” 

 

“Well you fucking better…” 

 

Claire and Patrick stayed in the kitchen, talking to Olivia wondered out for breakfast about the time Claire was leaving. She kissed her daughter goodbye and grabbed her things. Patrick stopped her on the way out, his hand on her arm. Leaning in he whispered. “Does Diane know… about the little one…” He asked pointedly and Claire shook her head. “Claire… secrets never end well for you.” He warned as he kissed his sister on the cheek and pushed her out the door. 

 

When she arrived at the building she felt a wave of anxiety washed over her as she took the first step into the building. The whole ride up she kept reminding herself that Will wanted this. This was his plan. As she stepped off the elevator and looked around the whole situation felt wrong. All because Will wasn’t there. 

 

Claire rallied herself and smiled softly as she walked towards the reception desk. The young receptionist was on the phone and all but ignoring Claire. She let out a little sigh as she tapped on the desk to get the young woman’s attention. “One moment please,” The woman said as she put the call on hold. “Yes, miss…” 

 

“I’m Claire Gardner, I am the first year starting today.” Her tone was quite and as soon as she said her name the secretary glanced around nervously. 

 

She must have worked there when Will was still alive because her demeanor instantly changed. “Mrs. Gardner, I’m sorry. I didn’t recognize you,” Claire smiled warmly trying to make the young receptionist feel more comfortable. She stood up and tried to make herself look more important. “Diane asked me to have you go to her office.” She said very quickly and with a heavy tinge of shame in her voice as she spoke for not recognizing Claire right away. 

 

Claire just gave her a quick nod and soft smile as she walked back towards Diane’s office. As she walked through the halls for the third time her heart didn’t sink as she rounded the corner. There was still part of her that expected Will to come up behind her and surprise her, or come out of a conference room trying to catch her as she walked by. However,  she didn’t even glance at his office as she walked over towards Diane’s and knocked softly on the door before she stuck her head in. 

“Claire, welcome.” Diaine greeted as she stood up from her desk and walked over towards her friend and embraced her. “I am so happy you agreed to come here.” Diane seemed genuinely happy and Claire was happy that she at least would see more of Diane. Diane turned and started to head towards her door again. “You are going to be working in litigation, Julius is your direct supervisor but Louis Canning is head of that department.” Claire knew that name, she didn’t know the man but she knew that Will had gone toe to toe with him in several court cases. Never speaking fondly of the personality of the man but he did always tell Claire he was highly skilled lawyer. She knew Julius well and had fond memories of him as fairly kind and decent man.  “Shall I show you to your office, it is on the 27th but you do have an office.” Diane explained brightly as ushered her back out of her office and they stayed fairly quiet as Claire was shown her new office. 

 

Several of the older members of staff, the ones that had been there during Will time would glance up for a moment then look away as soon as they noticed Claire’s eyes on them. It was going to be rough, no one would believe that she was there on her own merits. Which, if truth be told, she wasn’t. This was pitty but Claire was in no position to refuse it at this point

 

Diane stopped just outside of the office that would be Claire’s work space and smiled softly. “It’s not the biggest office of the first years, but I think it will do just fine.” Claire peaked through the glass and saw Will’s desk. She would have known it anywhere. Her heart pounded in her chest as her left hand clasped over her mouth.

 

Diane leaned in and placed a hand on her shoulder. “I had them pull it out of storage…” Claire eyes lit up as she walked around Diane and opened her office door. 

 

There in the middle of the room was Will’s desk. Her heart raced as she moved towards it and ran her hand across the smooth wood as glimpses of memories she had with Will around that desk came rushing back. They weren't  anything more than snap shots of moments. Happy moments, romantic moments, sad moments. “Thank you Diane... “ Claire said with heavy breath as she walked around the desk, running her fingers over the desk as she got a closer look at the chair. “His chair…” Claire noted softly and Diane smiled from the door. 

 

“I couldn’t bare the thought of anyone else ever using them.” Diane admitted with a little, whispy laugh as leaned on the doorframe. Diane was one of the few people that knew that Claire was so much more than just Will’s wife, she was his protege. He talked to Diane often about how they reviewed his cases together, how he taught her just how he approached the law. In her heart Diane knew that even with Will gone, he was guiding her through her career as a lawyer. It was only right in her mind that Claire have some tangible reminder of that he was still very much with her. She took a step in and motioned to the furniture,   “It’s only right they go to you, so some part of him still with you as you conquer the world.” 

 

Claire couldn't help but chuckle at her last comment. “Conquer the world of paperwork.” She quipped. Diane smirked, pleased to see that Claire had managed to maintain her humor. 

 

The two women shared a small but poignant smile before Diane turned to leave, she stopped and patted on the door. “I want you on a case that just came in, it’s a damage case. It’s a widow…” Diane knew that asking her to do this was going to be a lot, but she wanted to test just how ready Claire was. 

 

Claire instantly knew what Diane was putting her on that case. “You need someone for her to relate to, and I am the wife of the lawyer who was killed by his client…” Claire tried not to sound as bitter as she was at being used but it was something right out of Will’s play book. She didn’t begrudge Diane for it, it was a smart move. Play on emotions, form a bond with a client. There was part of Claire, however, that was upset that something like this was the first case she was being handed. 

 

“I hate asking this of you Claire, so soon after you started…” Diane tried to dig herself out of her own hole but Claire needed her own answers about her friend’s motives.

 

Claire leaned forward, scowling. “Is this why you wanted me to come work for you, Diane?” Claire snapped quickly the anger from being seemingly used seeping through more with each word. 

 

“NO,” Diane proclaimed emphatically. “This is what Will wanted, before he died. We were drawing up employment contracts before his death, you were hired here over a year ago Claire!”  Diane was shocked that she would come to such a harsh conclusion, even if it was partially true. The partners knew that there was value in having a Gardner, even on by marriage, at LGC. It was still very much the firm that Will was building at the time of his death. It would go over well with the clients. To most of the partners that mattered more than her skills as a lawyer. 

 

“If that’s true, then why did Cary Agos come to my house… not you… after Will died offering me a job?” Clare asked, her voice still filled with anger and resentment. 

 

There was no excuse for Diane’s actions, or rather the lack thereof, after Will’s death. She was in her own dark place, grasping at whatever she could. Mostly her husband Kurt, to pull her from the darkness. Diane took a few steps back into the room and closed the door to give them a bit more privacy. “We all were lost after everything.” Diane admitted softly. “So were you, none of us even knew if you were going to practice law at all.”  Claire thought Diane was trying to make excuses and scoffed at her comment. “Claire, you didn’t talk to anyone… for months.”

 

“I talked to Cary…” Claire quickly pointed out. “He reached out to me.” 

 

“Your relationship with Cary was different…” Diane corrected. “I am not trying to make excuses Claire. Really I am not.” Claire took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. She knew that she needed to hear Diane out. “We all lost Will, we all had to go through the emotions differently. If I handled things poorly, then I am sorry.” Diane’s words were sincere, Claire could hear it in her tone and see it painted across her face. 

 

Claire leaned back and gripped the arms of the chair. She was in the wrong as well. Her nerves were on edge being back in this place. “I shouldn’t be so quick to anger.” Claire admitted softly. “I still am struggling with all this a bit…” 

 

Diane took a few more steps towards Claire. “I know.” She said simply as she took her hand. “Which is why, getting to work… keeping that mind of yours busy will help.” 

 

Claire nodded slowly and resounded to not think about if this was a manipulative move or sincere on Diane’s part. She was at this law firm to work and that’s what she was going to do. “Okay, I guess get me the files and I will start reading up on the case.” 

 

“Thanks Claire…” 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> +Flashback+
> 
> Will gets a call from Claire, while he is at work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not an exceptionally long chapter today and tomorrows will probably be shorter but tomorrow there will be a double update so don't worry... I wrote this flashback with kinda the idea in mind to show one of a lot of important moments that happened around Will's desk... I also wanted to really push a little more lighthearted of a flashback because things are about to start to get intense for Claire in the present in the couple chapters that will follow.
> 
> Hope you enjoy <3

**4 weeks before Will’s murder**

 

It was a typical Tuesday in the new reality that was the law offices now known as  LG, Will was standing next to his desk going through his notes on the upcoming Jeffery Grant trial. He was supposed to be going to the prison to meet with the young man shortly. As he gathered the notes he needed and placed them in his briefcase, his phone began to ring on his desk. Peaking at it he saw Claire’s name. He smirked as he reached over and picked up the phone. “Hey,” He said casually as held the phone up to his ear while still rifling through his papers. 

 

“Hey,” Claire responded back. Will could hear Olivia laughing in the background and rustle of bags. Claire must have just gotten home. “Hold on..” Claire added quickly. “Olivia… do your shoes belong in the middle of the floor?” Her voice was muffled slightly like she had pulled the phone away from her as she spoke. 

 

Will could hear his daughter begin to protest and chuckled softly as she complained. “Mom…” But Claire was having none of it. Will could almost picture the face his wife was making to get the response that followed. “Fine…” 

 

Claire must have obviously been stratified as she turned her attention back to her conversation with Will. “I swear your daughter…” Claire started and Will laughed. 

 

“How did her doctor's appointment go?” Will asked as he leaned back against his desk.

 

Claire sighed on the other end of the line. "Oh, you mean her 30 minute scream fest as soon as she realized that she had to get shots.” Will felt bad that Claire was often the one left to handle most of the tough parenting moments. 

 

He let out a small sigh, “Beyond that?” Will asked. “What did the doctor say about her asthma?” Olivia was a fairly health child with the exception of being asthmatic, she had a horrible asthma attack two years prior when she was only three that sent her straight to Children’s hospital. It was the scare that pushed Claire and Will back together. 

 

Claire let out a heavy sigh, “He said she still has to use her rescue inhaler too much, he gave me a referral to a pulmonologist to talk about more intense breathing treatments.” Claire seemed frustrated by her tone and Will let out a heavy sigh of his own. 

 

“So… basketball camp is out?” Will asked as he glanced at the picture of Claire and Olivia he had on his desk. Olivia had been waiting to be old enough to go, with her just turning 5 she was finally old enough but her health now threw a wrench in their plans. 

 

“He said we need to see the pulmonologist and get their input before he will sign off on her physical..”  Will cursed under his breath as Claire shared the information. “I don’t think they are going to clear her.” 

 

Will knew what his wife said was likely true, “Maybe if we get her on stronger meds, next year..” Olivia was going to be crushed, he doubted that Claire had told her since he could still hear her laughing and playing in the background. “When do we tell her?” 

 

“I don’t know, when you get home?” Clare suggested and Will wavered. “It would probably be coming from you, she called me mean mommy six times already today…” 

 

He tried not to laugh at the way Claire had said it but Olivia had a tendency to take most of her frustrations out on her mother, so Claire was right about it being better from him. “Yeah, I’ll try to get home at a decent hour, should I pick up her customary bribe so she doesn’t lose her shit.” What Will was referring to was their daughter’s strange obsession with a cupcake that was called ‘Death By Chocolate’ at a bakery a few blocks from their home. It had become their go to bribe to get Olivia to take her medication. She takes both her inhalers, for a whole week, with no fights. She gets a cupcake. 

 

“She has already gotten a twenty and we stopped to get doughnuts after…”  

 

“A twenty.” Will laughed. “She is getting expensive,  I remember when her cooperation was dollar.” He could almost head Claire’s eyes rolling. 

 

“She is your child.” Claire laughed. “She is brutal negotiator.” 

 

“Remind me never to have you handle settlement negotiations.” Will teased. 

 

“That reminds me, my results came…” He could her the nervous tone of her voice. Will knew she passed, even without knowing the actual results. “I don’t know if should open them yet or not.” 

 

“Open them, right now.” Will smirked and stood over his desk for a moment. “I know you passed. Don’t be afraid.”  He leaned forward and rested one hand on his desk as he waited hearing her rip the envelope open and the rustle of paper unfolding as he waited for her to let her know. She was quite far longer than Will was expecting. “Claire…” 

 

“I passed…” Claire exclaimed and Will smiled brightly. He was a little nervous when she didn’t answer right away, but he was so proud of her. “I am really a lawyer, baby… I am really a lawyer Will!” 

 

“I am so proud, look at me married to a lawyer now.” There was a knock on his door, it was Diane, who had come to get Will to leave for the Jail. Will wanted to celebrate this victory for his family and he wished he had more time to make plans. “How about you find Liv a babysitter tonight and we will go out to dinner and drinks? Do you think your sister could watch her?”

 

“What’s one more kid when you have four, I am sure she will be fine with it.”  Claire said happily. 

 

“Well go call your sister, I have to go. I am so proud of you… Mrs. Gardner.” Will smirked as he said his good-byes as he walked out of his office putting his phone back in his pocket. Diane walked over to him and Will turned to her with a proud smile on his face. “Claire passed, we are officially a two lawyer household.” 

 

“Give my Liv 20 years and there will be three Gardners practicing law…I am already grooming her to take my place, she is going to be my ultimate protege.. I have started from birth.” Diane laughed and Will beamed. She wasn’t lying, Olivia spent a great deal of time with Diane and his daughter certainly looked up to her. 

 

“Knowing my daughter, I don’t doubt it. I saw her setting her dolls up like a courtroom last weekend. Her little bug eyed, creepy beanie babies all lined up like the journey. She was giving her closing arguments. She really made a damn good case for the Big Bad Wolf… born defense attorney.” Will laughed softly as he buttoned his jacket up and straightened up. “I am really proud of my wife…” 

 

“We all are.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire meets Canning and things don't go well...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We get a glimpse of Claire's dark side... the part of her that she tries to hide and is having a hard time keeping things hidden. 
> 
> This chapter is short, probably one of the shortest will be in the story but it's a keystone chapter that sets things up for things that have happened in the past and in the future.... gotta love my really screwed up way of writing this story! But all the chapters build off each other to weave a very interesting web of plots... 
> 
> another, longer chapter will be up tomorrow hopefully!

**Present**

Claire had been reading over the material to prepare herself for her first case. It was a fairly cut and dry case. She saw no real reason that they needed her to hand hold the widow . It was possible it was some sort of test, Will told her about how sometimes the partners would give first years cases that would hit emotional nerves just to see how they coped. She was almost certain that’s what this was.

 

Completely lost in her own head she didn’t notice the first knock on her door, or the second. It wasn’t until the person opened the door and stuck there head in that Claire lifted her gaze. “Mrs. Gardner?” Claire nodded in response and a short, middle aged man walked towards her  “I’m Louis Canning, one of the partners and I am the first chair on the Holloway case.” His hand tremors as he reached out to shake her hand. “Please don’t be alarmed…” He was about to explain his condition and Claire stopped him with a smile. 

 

“No need to explain, Mr. Canning,” Claire said quickly as she pushed the chair back and stood up going to greet him taking his hand in hers with no hesitation. “It’s a pleasure, Sir. My husband often cursed your name. So, I am guessing you are excellent at your job.” She smiled at mentioning Will and so did Louis. 

 

“He was a good advisory and a hell of a lawyer. The law is worse for the loss of him.” Claire smiled and nodded at his kind words as she offered him a chair to sit down. “You have a daughter with him, she was here yesterday.” He noted as he sat down across the desk from Claire who returned to her seat.

 

“Yes, Olivia. She’s 6.” Claire said with a smile. They nodded and Claire hoped that the pleasantries would be pushed aside and they would get to work. “So the Holloway case, the wife of the victim is suing the murderer's family for damages. From files it seems rather cut and dry. I wouldn’t even take it to trial, you should be able to settle fairly easily.” Canning nods. “Yet, you need me to play the victim card and hand hold the wife… to what prove myself.” All the pleasantness faded from Claire’s voice as she sat up straight in her chair. She wasn’t going to be bullied. 

 

Canning chuckled, “You think you are so smart.. That you have everyone and everything figured out don’t you?” He asked in a condescending tone.

 

Claire had a smug smirk playing on her lips. “I know enough and I am not some sweet little Ivy league princess. I grew up on the south side. Do you know my maiden name is Donovan?” Canning nodded and Claire smirked. “Do you know the name Jimmy Donovan, sir?” Canning chuckled darkly as he nodded. “Then you know he was the King of the south side…” It was rare for her to bring up her father. When most people learned who her father was either wanted to use it against her or use it gain favor. Will had always told her to use it, use it to make people fear her, which she was doing  “He was my father and I am my father’s daughter…” She hated to admit it, she wished it was a lie, but it was the truth. For all the good things she had done, she capable of being just as manipulative, vindictive and devious as her father was. Will had taught her to focus that rage, use it for good but Will was gone now and Canning pushed the wrong button. 

 

This side of Claire that rarely showed itself outside of court.She could be vicious, hard hearted and cruel if she had to. It was the way her father had raised her after her mother’s death.  She had to make it known that she was not going to be manipulated and tested for the sake of seeing just how much she could take. “My husband was one of the founders of this firm, his name is still on the letterhead…That still means something. Will’s name still means something” Claire nodded with a hint of arrogance in her voice. “Don’t think for a second that I don’t know just how this firm works… just how firms like this work. Just how the ‘world of men’ works. I am not someone who can be played with like a toy. I am not about to be some play thing for you to push till I crack, because you don’t really want to see what happens if I crack… understood.” 

 

Silence hung thick in the air as the pair has a brief staredown. Abruptly, Canning stood. “You are here only because you are Will’s wife… do your job, play the role we need you to play and make it worth what we pay you ... understood” He replied in a standoffish tone. 

 

“When is the meeting?” Claire’s tone was sharp and her gaze hard. She didn’t want to show him the slightest sign of weakness as she remained seated.

 

“An hour.” 

 

“Who’s the other team?”

 

“Florrick/Agos…” Canning answered, there was devilish glint in his eyes as he turned and finished exiting the office without another word. As soon as the door was shut behind him Claire laid her head on her desk.

 

She could fake being a sympathetic hand holder, but she could not face Alicia Florrick. “Fuck.” she uttered as she gently pounded her head on the desk. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> +Flashback+ 
> 
> Claire and Alicia meet before Will has a meeting with Claire's father about an upcoming grand jury hearing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A nice long chapter! Lots of stuff happens. We have Alicia's introduction into the story... we also get to meet Claire's father and brother Andrew so it's a lot of stuff packed in! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it and I may not be able to update again till next week. It's a bit of a busy weekend but I will be trying to get the next part at some point this weekend... if life allows!

 

**5 years before Will’s Murder**

 

Claire carried Olivia in, balancing the now, 6 month old baby on her hip as they walked through the halls on the way to visit Will. “Are you ready to show daddy what you can do… he is going to be so impressed.” Olivia had started crawling earlier that day while Claire was visiting with her sister and she was excited to show Will. She also needed to use some of the law books kept for reference in the office for a paper she was working on for class and unlike her classmates it wasn’t easy for her to go to the library to get her papers finished. Unlike her classmates as well, her boyfriend was a named partner of a well known firm. There were advantages and disadvantages. She could easily finish the paper that evening as long as Will could help her keep an eye on the now crawling Olivia. The baby was kicking her legs wildly, squirming in her mother’s arms trying to get down on the ground. “Now that you figured out how to go, you just want to go.” Claire chuckled softly as she adjusted the backpack and diaper bag slung over her shoulder as she rounded the corner to see Will talking with someone who Claire had only seen on TV. 

 

Alicia Florrick, the wife the disgraced State’s attorney. Will had mentioned to Claire on a couple of occasions when they saw news stories on the scandal that he knew Alicia. That they had been friends back at Georgetown. Claire instantly wondered what she was doing in his office. 

 

 “Oh well, see here is the proof that I am a changed man…” Will proclaimed to Alicia as he spotted Claire and Olivia out of the corner of his eye. He motioned for Claire to come over and the younger woman gave an awkward and nervous smile. “There’s my girls!” Will greeted brightly as he took a step away from Alicia going to meet Claire on her way. “Alicia, this is Claire Donovan. My girlfriend and this.. Come here peanut...” Will started with a smirk as he reached over and took Olivia from Claire who mouthed ‘thank you’ to him as she was struggling with her bags and the squirmy baby. “Is our daughter, Olivia…” Olivia giggled happily in her father’s arms as she clapped her hands. “Yeah.. you don’t say.” Will whispered softly to his daughter as Alicia and Claire shared an awkward smile. 

 

Alicia smiled softly at Olivia, though there was a sadness behind her eyes. “Oh Will, she’s beautiful.” Alicia gushed as she leaned forward and greeted the infant. Olivia giggled in her father’s arms as she grabbed Alicia’s finger and tried to put in her mouth. 

 

“Teething..” Will noted quickly as he started to pry Olivia’s hand off Alicia’s finger. Alicia laughed softly as Claire handed Will a set of toy keys, brightly colored and made of thick plastic. He traded his daughter for Alicia’s finger back. Olivia stuck one of the keys in her mouth and started to chew. Will smirked. 

 

Once free of Olivia’s grasp Alicia turned to Claire and finally greeted her with a warm, cordial smile. “Nice to meet you Claire,”Alicia started, “I never expected anyone to get Will to settle down and have a family.” She chuckled nervously as she watched Claire very carefully as she reached out and slipped her arm around his. With one gesture, staking her claim over Will. “You must be something quite special.” There was a tinge of remouse in her words, like Alicia regretted that she had not possessed whatever Claire did and that she wasn’t the one the got will to settle down.

 

“No, just patient…” Claire retorted softly as she looked up at Will. “Maybe a little bit stubborn…” Claire added and Will nodded as he glanced at Alicia. Claire turned her attention back to Alicia with her best fake smile,  “And good at reigning in chaos.” 

 

“She is lying, she is amazing and a fantastic mother.” Will smirked over at her as tried to quickly think of a way to defuse the growing tension. He leaned over and kissed Claire on the cheek. “I would be lost without her…” Claire smirked and patted his arm. “Remember, I mentioned I knew Alicia at Georgetown… we just hired her.”

 

“Oh congratulations.” Claire smiled and Alicia nodded mumbling thank you. 

 

“Alicia just came back after 13 years of life in the suburbs…” He explained finally in hoped it would quash any of the worries he could see rising in Claire. Will nodded towards Claire as he glanced over at Alicia “Claire just started law school…” 

 

“Depaul, Part time.” Claire quickly added, trying to downplay her own accomplishments.  “Liv is still so little and I hate leaving her with anyone.” Claire admitted softly, she wasn’t exceptionally fond of being home alone much either but she would rather be home with Olivia than in class and her sister practically raising her daughter. 

 

Alicia smiled remembering feeling like that when her own children were young, “It's hard when they are so little to be away from them. I finished law school before I had children, I don’t think I would have been able to balance both, it’s very impressive.” She spoke slowly, her fixated on Will who was talking softly to Olivia letting the two women have a brief conversation. “I have two, Zach and Grace…” 

 

“We almost named Olivia, Grace…” Claire pointed out with an amused smirk as she leaned into Will who shook his head. 

 

“You almost named her Grace, I never liked that name for her…” Will said looking at Claire with smug smirk playing on his lips before glancing over at Alicia, “It’s a nice name, fine name… but she was either going to be Emory or Olivia…” The woman chuckled softly at his name choice and Will shook his head. 

 

“Emory?” Alicia asked wide eyed to Claire who just rolled her eyes and shook her head. “He really wanted to name her Emory…” 

 

“We would have called her Emmy… or Emma..” Will was starting to get defensive. Not in an overly serious way, in more of a comical way. Which both women found highly amusing.

 

Claire nodded, that slow nod of “motherhood understanding” and Will had a mock look of outrage on his face. “He spent 2 hours after she was born arguing, like he was in court, for naming her Emory.” Alicia laugh as could practically picture the scene playing out before her. “I was about to bring in the charge nurse to play judge but we settled on Olivia.” The tension between the two women started to dissipate as the had they amusing conversation at his expense. Will would gladly be the butt of their jokes if it meant the pair would get along. 

 

“I don’t doubt it, I think Olivia suits her very well.” Alicia said with a bright smile. She caught a glimpse of her watch and gripped her purse. “I’m so sorry to cut this short but I gotta go make sure the kids get home from their new school alright. It’s their first day...” 

 

“Go, I will see you tomorrow Alicia.” Will smiled and bounced Olivia in his arms. 

 

Alicia turned to Claire and extended her hand. Claire took it and the women shook hands. Will secretly hoped this would be the start of a friendship between the pair. “We should get together, with the kids for dinner sometime soon. Grace loves babies and I guarantee you that she would keep Olivia entertained and doted on the whole time.” 

 

Claire smiled and looked up and Will who smirked and shrugged not wanting to be the one to make the decision about the invitation. “I go where I am told…” He said simply as he leaned in and kissed Claire’s cheek before slipping Olivia’s diaper bag off her shoulder. “I am going to go get her settled.” 

 

“I think that would be nice, I mean you are an old friend of Will’s and experienced mom… how can we refuse.” Something her father had told her when she was young echoed in her mind.  _ ‘Make friends with your competition and they will never really be competition. _ ’ Claire didn’t know why, but her gut told her that Alicia was competition from the moment she laid eyes on her. “Why don’t you get my cell number from Will tomorrow and give me a call. I am the only person who can find room in his schedule for anything. I still have to go through and fix it.” Claire laughed and the two women said goodbyes  quickly before they parted away. Alicia back towards the elevators to leave and Claire into Will’s office. 

 

When Claire walked into his office she paused to take in the picture before her. Will was sitting on the couch with Liv tucked in the crook of his arm as he started to page through papers. Talking softly to Olivia as she played in his arms. Will’s head lifted as the door clicked closed behind Claire. He smiled and motioned for Claire to come over to him. “I am glad you and Alicia get along.” Will noted as he picked up one page to take a closer look. Olivia had other plans at tried to grab the paper from her father’s hand. Claire was going to speak but watching their little mischief maker work her magic was far too amazing to interrupt. “Liv…your toys are right…” He picked up a little soft doll that was next to him and handed it to her in a vain attempt to distract her. At least she had moved on to being intrigued with his tie which was now in her mouth and soon was drenched in drool. “Olivia…” Will groaned and laughed. “Peanut, daddy has to meet with your Grandpa in 45 minutes. He doesn’t like me and if I show up without a tie he is going to really hate me.” Claire father was being investigated by the SA’s office at it was a preliminary meeting to go over what was he being charged with this time. Her father had been brought before a grand jury three times in Claire’s life, never indicted and Claire feared that this time he wasn’t going to get so lucky.

 

She needed her father to trust Will with his defense. Will was a good lawyer, but Claire wanted to be able to see the files and help defend her father even if it was in shadow capacity. She couldn’t let another person in her family go to jail. Even if he did deserve it. “I have another tie in the diaper bag.” Claire said as tossed her backpack down on the couch and started to riffle through looking for the spare tie of Will’s she always kept in the bag. “No promise it will match.” Claire noted not even looking up as she pulled out empty bottles, diapers and various creams and lotions looking for where she had stuck the tie. 

 

“It’s fine, as long as it’s something.” Will bounced Olivia in her arms as he continued to chew away on his tie, happily cooing while she smirked up her father. Will laughed as he kissed the top of her head and turned back to Claire, “Why do you even keep a tie in her diaper bag?” Will asked as he watched Claire pull a black tie out of one of the hidden pockets with a victorious grin playing on her lips. 

 

As she moved down the couch and handed him the tie. “Because you have an infant daughter, that spends a lot of time in your office and you are a lawyer… who has to wear ties for everything.” She knew that she had to be prepared for anything, there were many times that they were out, or even just at home and in the middle of normal life. Will would get a call and he would have to leave. Being prepared was just part of life.

 

“I love you,” Will said he started to pry the tie from Olivia’s tight grasp. “Come on Peanut, you can have daddy’s 150 dollar silk tie to chew on just let go long enough for me to get it off.” He finally managed to will the tie away from her but she started to get very upset, very quickly. He hastily pulled his tie lose and off before handing it to Olivia who settled as soon as she was chewing on her fingers covered in his tie. “This is the third one Claire…” 

 

“I know..” Claire said softly as she leaned over and picked up Olivia from Will’s arm so he could put on his new tie. “Come here Liv… we gotta let Daddy get ready for his big meeting with Pop Pop..” Her tone was cheerful as she lifted her daughter from Will’s arms and balanced her on her hip, Will old tie now dangling from Olivia’s hand which was still being chewed on. 

 

Will leaned back on the couch as tied his new tie. “You should be there, play buffer with him. He hates me.” 

 

“He hates we aren’t married.” Claire was quick to correct. “He has one daughter already that was a teenage unwed mother. He excused Fi’s boyfriend because he was young and irresponsible.” Will rolled his eyes, he had heard Claire’s explanation a dozen times throughout her pregnancy and in the 10 months since their daughter was born. “He is old fashioned, you have a good job, you are older than me, we have Liv, we live together. In his mind he sees no reason we shouldn’t be married. That’s all, Will.”

 

Will shook his head, he never understood how such a man with such old fashioned views on marriage raised Claire, who seemed opposed to the idea whenever he brought it up. “I don’t understand why he didn’t go with Stern then, he could have easily taken all his business to him.” 

 

“He doesn’t because you are Olivia’s father…” Claire declared, “Dad like to keep as much in the family as possible. He believes blood bonds more than money ever will.” Will rubbed his temples. Claire’s family always made his head hurt. All these arbitrary rules about how things were done and who you was trustworthy and who wasn’t. There were secrets to cover deeper secrets. While Claire was honest with Will about most things regarding her family, he knew there was still so much more he didn’t know and wasn’t sure he wanted to know. 

 

What Will did want was to know how to handle him, “What do I need to do…” Claire sunk down next to him on the couch. Placing Olivia between them as she continued to play. 

 

Claire raised her gaze to meet Will’s. “Don’t bring out the big guns, no conference room, no junior associates. Absolutely no Diane. Don’t bring Kalinda in either.” Will nodded as he stretched his arm along the back of the couch. “Bring him in to your office, any money...he is going to have Drew with him. Treat it like a family discussion not a lawyer meeting with his clients.” Will nodded as she continued. “Having Liv and I here is just going to work in your favor. Say you wanted to make sure I was here, because…” Claire was trying to find the best lie for the situation. She chewed on her bottom lip till she finally blurted out. “You didn’t want to keep me in the dark about what is going on, it made you feel… uneasy… keeping secrets like this from me.” 

 

Will let out a half huff, half chuckle. “That’s good…okay…” He nodded as mentally prepared for the meeting. “I am assuming you really came to work on your paper…” Will asked as he leaned over. Claire nodded, while she knew about the meeting with her father her true aim was to always work on her paper. “I got Liv, go get some work done before he comes…” Claire smirked as she leaned over giving him a quick kiss and mumbling thank you before pulling out her laptop and scurrying off to grab the books she needed. 

 

Right on time, Will’s assistant Jenny popped her head in and said “Mr. Donovan and his son are here.” Will was still on the couch playing with Liv, Claire had moved to Will’s desk. She lifted her and caught Will’s gaze. 

 

“You go, he will be happy to see you.” Will suggested and Claire nodded agreeing as she closed her laptop. Standing up, she took a deep breath. She both loved and feared her father. While she did like to see him on occasion it was rare she let him around Olivia. Not because she was afraid that he would hurt, it was more that she was afraid he would somehow taint her innocent child. 

 

Picking up her laptop she walked over to Will and set it down on the coffee table. “Go sit at your desk, talk to Olivia… play up the doting father gimmick.” Will nodded as he leaned up kissing her once more before Claire slipped out to go greet her father. 

 

In the lobby her father and brother stood waiting. He father was tall, lean, and distinguished looking man, man in his early 60’s. Next to him was a young man, a few inches shorter. Broad, brooding and with black hair and deep brown eyes. That was Andrew, Drew, Claire’s eldest brother. Claire took a deep breath as she pulled her messy ponytail down and try to make herself look a little more put together before she approached her family. “Da, Drew..” She greeted cheerfully with a wave as she walked over. 

 

“What are ya doing here, love?” her father asked he step forward and embraced Claire. Even after living in the US for nearly 40 years, he still had a hint of a Belfast brogue. He gave a hearty laugh as he turned to the stern faced Drew. “Isn’t it grand that we get to see your sister even though we have to deal with this affuel unpleasantness? Eh?” 

 

Drew nodded as his stern mask slipped for a moment and gave his little sister a half smirk. “Yeah, Da.” He said simply. 

 

Jimmy turned back to his daughter. “Did you bring my grandbaby? You never bring her to see me.” 

 

Claire nodded. “Aye, Da… she is back with Will. I figured that may be the only way to get you into his office.”  Her father let her go as he straightened his suit jacket. Drew motioned for his sister to come to him next. His hug was much quicker than their father’s, “Missed you dufus..” Claire whispered as they parted. 

 

“I know a little bit..” He responded as he placed a hand on her shoulder. Their father started walked a few paces ahead of them. Drew purposely held his sister back so he could have a somewhat private word with his younger sister. “Da thinks he is going to jail. He keeps saying he is going to be with Patty soon..” 

 

Claire shook her head, she didn’t want to think about that. Their father’s health had been better and she knew that if ended up in jail he would die in there. “Will’s good… really good.” 

 

Drew shook his head this time and leaned in so close, Claire could feel the heat from his breath on her neck. “Colin told me they have evidence, real evidence… the type you can’t explain away.” Claire’s eyes grew wide as they neared Will’s office. 

 

Jimmy turned around to see what his children were talking about, gesturing towards the door of Will’s office. “Go on in Da, we will be right in.” Claire said quickly and their father just walked in and Claire could just hear the muffled sounds of Will being greeted by their father. 

 

Drew moved in front of Claire to stop her from following. “Drew…” Claire exclaimed and Drew shook his head unwilling to move till they finished their conversation. “He will fix it..” 

 

“Colin is fixing it.” Drew informed lowly. 

 

“He is pitting it… isn’t he?” Claire voice was little more than a whisper , but she was frantic. “He is going to end up in jail too… Drew you have to stop him…” 

 

“No.” Drew answered shaking his head. “This is the only way our father doesn’t die in jail…” 

 

“It’s going to come back on WIll, on his firm…” Claire snapped. “This is my family’s life, Drew.” 

 

“This is your father’s life, Claire.” Drew grabbed his sister’s arm and pulled her closer to him and he leaned in. “Have you forgotten who your family is?” 

 

“Why do you think Will is risking the reputation of his firm to take our father’s case.” Claire growled as she snapped her arm back from her brother. “He will beat this. Will is the best lawyer that we could want… so why don’t you get in there so Will can start doing his damn job and I can get back to my daughter.” 

 

Drew chuckled darkly as he took a step back looking at his sister. “You know, you just sounded so much like Ma it’s not even funny..” 

 

Claire shoved him towards and the door. “Just shut up and go..” Drew laughed as he looked back at his sister. 

 

“Ya know…you really are a Donovan..” 

 

“Shut up..” Claire barked and Drew kept laughing as they joined Will and their father for the meeting. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> +present+ 
> 
> Claire has a brief breakdown and with Diane's help she pulls herself together enough to face Alicia and Cary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So due to the absurd heat we had today my original plans went out the window and I had a few hours to work over this chapter earlier than I was expecting. It's the start of the first Alicia/Claire confrontations throughout the story... it's not a big blow up but we get a feel of how things are at the moment between them...
> 
> next chapter (elven) is the first pretty big reveal chapter of the story... so let the anticipation build for that baby and enjoy!

**Present**

 

Claire sat at her desk with her head in her hands as she tried to pull herself together. She hadn’t seen Alicia since Will’s funeral and any minute there would be a knock on the door to let her know the council from Florrick and Agos were there and she would soon be face to face with the woman who almost destroyed her relationship. Not to mention the man that she nearly left Will for. While her relationship with Cary had evened out to a fairly deep friendship over the past two years, she still wasn’t prepared to face them both in one sitting.  

 

Flipping over her phone she saw the lock screen light up, a photo Will and Olivia lying asleep on the couch. It was maybe a week or so before he was murdered. It was one of the last photos she had taken of them together.  “Canning is an ass…” she muttered as if Will was sitting in the chair across from her. This is the conversation she would have been having with him if he was still alive and she wished more than anything that she could still go up one floor and ask him how she could get through this and still hold it together.

 

“When have I ever lied to you about how much of an asshole someone was?” Will’s voice echoed through her mind and her heart caught in her chest. Her tear filled eyes lifted and fixed on the empty chair across from her. For a fleeting glance she could see Will, with a broad smile on his face leaned back in the chair. His voice still ringing in her ears. 

 

She rubbed her eyes and like that Will was gone. Letting out a long frazzled breath Claire looked towards the door and could have sworn Will was standing getting ready to leave. “Do you want to cook tonight or should we order in?” His voice was clear as if he was in the room with her and it hit her like a kick to the chest. A shiver ran down her spine and her whole body shuddered. She knew he wasn’t there, this was her brain playing tricks on her because she was in a panic cycle that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t shake. 

 

Her hand covered her mouth as she let out a muffled sob, allowing herself a brief moment to lose composure before she took a long deep breath and tried to steady herself. She leaned down and rested her head on the desk and closed her eyes. She tried to clear her mind but even when she tried Will never left her. 

 

Only when there was a knock on the door and Diane’s voice rang out. “Claire…” She ducked the room and closed the door quickly behind her. “Are you okay?” she asked sincerely as she sat down in the same chair where Claire had just seen WIll a few moments before. “Is this too much?”

 

Claire sat up and she shook her head as she started to protest. “I am fine, I just had a rough moment because of the case that you guys stuck me on…” She knew that shouldn’t be bitter, that should just be thankful and grateful for the job. The pay was enough that she didn’t have to worry about the rent or bills while they muddle through the litigation on Will’s estate. “You put me against Alicia… on my first case.” Claire shoved the case file towards Diane. 

 

“I told Louis that this was going to be troublesome but Claire if you want to recuse yourself, you know David and I will understand. David always needs help in family law.” Daine suggested softly. She could see that Claire was starting to crack and was desperate to give her another option. “I know he would love to have you, he really is so fond of you.” Diane said as she smoothed Claire’s hair just like Claire’s own mother had when she was a little girl and upset. Claire found it oddly comforting and she was able to rally to resound herself to push forward. 

 

Shaking her head Claire stood up. “No,” she started slowly. “I have to prove myself more than just some pity case. I am not just here because I am Will Gardner’s widow.” Diane gestured for her to sit back down but Claire refused.

 

“Claire, just sit… you know you are not here because of that. You are a smart and a fighter.” Diane grabbed Claire’s hand. “I wanted you here… David wants you her… Julius wants you here… hell even Howard likes having you here.” Diane was almost in tears trying to make Claire understand. “I don’t know who told you that but they are not telling the truth…” 

 

Claire glanced back at Diane and choked out. “Well Canning only has me here because I am Will’s wife and I have to work under him...I am just this play thing for him to fuck with till I snap and he can fire me… which is probably going to happen today.” Diane could tell she was nearing a breaking point. She needed to intervene, she needed to pull her from the case. Put her on something easy and simple. Then a little voice in the back of Diane’s mind said  _ ‘You can’t make this easy for her, she can handle this. Let her handle this’  _ it sounded a lot like Will reminded her that no one in the world makes things easy. Diane squeezed Claire’s hand and   “I am going to be in the conference room waiting for that bitch…” Claire grumbled and Diane just shook her head as Claire stormed out of her own office leaving Diane alone. 

 

Much to Claire’s surprise when she slinked into the conference room on the 28th floor, Alicia and her partner Cary Agos were already sitting at the table getting everything set up for the video deposition. It wasn’t Alicia that her eyes landed on first, it was Cary. He looked the same as he had the last time she saw him. There was a part of her that just wanted to reach out and touch him but then she saw Alicia. Rage bubbled with in her soul as she saw Alicia look up at her. They were talking quietly amongst themselves till they both noticed Claire standing there like a deer in the headlights. Alicia stood up first, nervously she walked over to where Claire stood frozen waiting to hear what Alicia would say to her. “Claire… I didn’t know you were working here.” Her words had so much wait behind them, pain, fear, disgrace. The tension in the room hung like a thick cloud of fog between the women as their eyes stayed locked on each other. 

 

“On this case…” Claire responded curtly before glancing over at Cary. “Hey, Cary.” As soon as she acknowledged him, he quickly stood up and joined the pair. Claire would never admit it out loud but she still thought about Cary in more than the context of just being friends. He was sweet and kind with her all those years ago, when she was so heartbroken. He even had been that same sweet and kind person, albeit from afar, after Will was killed. She knew he still had feelings of his own he never worked through. Her brother Colin and Cary had become good friends from the time they worked together at the SA’s office and as far as Claire knew were still close friends. Infact, anytime she spoke or saw Colin he always would mention Cary asking after her.  They had spoken several times over the phone, Cary calling randomly every few months just to make sure Claire was okay but he tried to give her space to grieve like everyone else. While Alicia and Claire were stand-offish with each other, Cary just wanted to hold Claire, and in that tense moment Claire wouldn’t protest it. 

  
  


Cary had offered her job at Florrick/Agos but Claire didn’t take it for obvious reasons. As much as he just wanted to swoop in and make sure she was taken care of, he knew that wasn’t Claire’s way. She would have fought with Alicia, the tension would have likely been worse than it was in that very moment. He moved around Alicia and broke the awkward moment by wrapping his arms around Claire in a gentle hug pulling her away for a moment. “Hey,” He said softly as he leaned in and kissed Claire’s cheek. He watched as her eyes shifted towards him and for a moment her face softened as she looked at him.  He knew Claire well enough the one way to pull her out of her rage, was bringing up her daughter. “How’s Olivia? I bet she is getting big.” Cary tried to be cheerful and defuse the tense situation but no matter how hard he tried nothing would have alleviated the tension between the two women who were in love with Will. 

 

“Yeah, she just started first grade.” Claire said softly looking up at the pair of rival attorneys. Cary reached out and rubbed her arm. For a moment Alicia looked forlorn as she turned away. “She plays basketball now.” Claire noted softly.

 

Alicia turned back to Claire as soon as she gave that last bit of information, “Her asthma… it’s getting better?” Alicia asked quickly. Claire nodded. For a moment Alicia smiled knowing how scary things had gotten with her just a few years before. “Will would have liked that…” She muttered softly. Knowing that it would have been something he would have been proud of. His daughter was finally healthy enough to play spots, the thing they loved to do together. She took the opening to try and make an uneasy peace. “Grace asks about you both often…”

 

Claire forced a little smile. “Olivia misses her too…” Claire admitted softly. Her daughter had asked quite a bit to see the girl who was in so many ways like a big sister. Grace had babysat Olivia since she was an infant, even when things were at the worst between Claire and Alicia the women would always put their issues aside when it came to maintaining the bond their daughters shared. Once Alicia left the firm, had her falling out with Will, it became difficult to keep up the relationship.  “Grace is welcome to come by sometime to see her, I work from home Fridays and Mondays..” Claire added trying to put her own effort forward to make things as amiable as possible. 

 

Alicia forced a smile of her own. “She would like that. Do you still live…” 

 

Claire nodded quickly. “For the time being…” 

 

 The three of them did a very awkwards nodding between themselves before Canning walked in a broke up the awkward moment. “The Clients are in the lobby…”

 

“Thank god for small favors…” Alicia mumbled as she went back on their side of the table to prepare. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is a little late and I won't have the next chapter up for a couple days. My little guy threw us for a loop on monday and my whole week got turned upside down! 
> 
> But this is kinda a bit moment... so enjoy.

**5 weeks after Will’s Murder**

 

Claire used to love the rare moments alone in the home she shared with her husband. They had led such busy lives that it was rare that it had happened. However, no one else had stepped inside the apartment in weeks. It was becoming some strange mozaleum to the life that had been ripped from Claire. Clothes strewn over the bedroom from when her well meaning family had tried to help her pack Will’s things away, thinking it would help when it only made things worse. There were empty bags of chips, half drank bottles of water through out the home as well.  This house that was once full of life and happiness was nothing more than a physical manifestation of all the despair that Claire had been feeling. Her life was destroyed, the man she believed to be the one real love of her life slane while trying to defend his own killed. 

 

Now, however, the silence was deafening as she stood in front of the sink in the master bathroom. Will’s things were still where they had been left the morning he was killed. Both her sisters and Will’s had tried to pack them away but Claire wouldn’t allow it. Over a month later very little had changed. Claire was trying to fool herself into thinking that Will would come home. Everyone around her could see how hard his death hit her, the word devastated didn’t even come close to her mental state in the days and weeks after the funeral.

 

Claire’s sister Katherine had taken Olivia for the time being, everyone was concerned about Claire’s ability to look after herself or Olivia in the weeks after it all happened. When even Will’s family agreed that it was best for Olivia, Claire didn’t fight and just let them take her. Though, she made them promise it was only going to be for a few days. That was three weeks ago. She saw Olivia every day for an hour or two when she managed to pull herself out of bed and function but on that day she got out of bed for another reason. 

 

It dawned on her as she checked the date on the milk in the fridge that she hadn’t gotten her period since Will died. She tried to explain it away quickly as stress but there was a nagging little voice, that sounded a great deal like Will’s, telling her to go get a pregnancy test. So she had thrown on something that still was vaguely clean, one of Will’s old t-shirts and a pair of black leggings as she went down the block to the local pharmacy to get the test. Upon returning home she went straight into the bathroom to take it. Now, she was waiting for the results. 

 

When she did this with Olivia it was different, Will was standing right next to her. Holding her hand. Saying “Whatever that stupid test says we will be fine,” like it was not adding another person to the planet. They had been nervous, but hopeful then. Now all Claire felt was fear, crippling fear. 

 

Claire glanced over her shoulder to see Will standing in the corner, leaning up against the bathroom wall with smirk playing on his lips. He was dressed like he had just come home from his weekly pick up game, which is what he would have been doing if he was alive. He seemed so real, like she could take a few steps across the room and wrap her arms around him one last time. Claire shook her head as soon as her mind began playing tricks on her trying to tell herself that he wasn’t there. “You were the one that said you wanted to have another kid…” Even though Claire knew he was gone, and that wasn’t really him. At the same time, it was comforting to talk to him in this moment. He should have been there for this moment. If he had been still alive they would have likely been happy and excitedly waiting for the results. Not fighting panic as Claire was.

 

“I wanted us to have another baby…” Claire spoke in barely more than whisper fearing that she was losing her mind if she actually spoke out loud to him. She had no idea how she would care for Olivia, yet alone another. It seemed like an unimaginable task that she would be able to balance two young children, a burgeoning law career all alone. Though she knew she wouldn’t be completely alone, she would have her family but it will next be the same as it could have been with WIll.

 

Will laughed softly and shook his head. “Is there something I should know Claire?” He was teasing her, just like he would have if he was really there. She swore she could hear his sneakers squeak on the tile floor was she watched him come closer. 

 

“No, you aren’t here.” Claire cried as she sank back against the counter, her hands gripping the counter top, it being the only thing that kept her from crumbling to the floor. “How am I supposed to do this on my own Will? I can’t take care of myself… Olivia is with my sister…” Tears were flowing down her cheeks. Her hands couldn’t grip the counter any longer and slowly she sank to the floor. She pulled her knees to her chest to try and hide her face as squeezed her eyes shut not wanting to process any of this. When Claire finally allowed her eyes to flutter open she saw Will once more, this time knelt next to her on the floor. Reaching his hand out like he was going to wipe away her tears, like he had done so many times in life. She could almost feel him wiping her tears away as she stifled a sob behind her hand. “I can’t do this… I can’t do this again without you…” She murmured trying to hide behind her hands. 

 

“Sweetheart, listen to me…” Claire glanced over at him, wishing so hard this was all real and not some trick her mind was playing on her. He had been this anchor in her life for so long, even when they were fighting. He was still always there. “You will be fine once you pull yourself together. You have to, you need to get your ass up off the floor, get dressed and bring our daughter home.” He turned away from her for a moment as he went to stand up. “Get up…” He demanded. “Claire, get up... “ 

 

Taking a long deep breath Claire mustered all the strength she had left in herself to push herself up off the floor. As she turned around she caught a glimpse of the pregnancy test. The plus sign glared up at her like some ill omen. “Damn it, Will!” she cursed as she tossed the test across the counter as she let out a rage filled scream. “This isn’t fair… this isn’t fucking fair…” 

 

“Life isn’t fair.” Will stated simply. Claire glared over at him through her tears. “Is it fair that innocent men have been put to death because they couldn’t afford a good lawyer, while I got paid to get a rich murder off how many times? Is that fair Claire?” She couldn’t believe even her mind was making him turn this into some debate. “I won’t get to know this kid… I won’t see him be born… or hold him. Read him bedtime stories. See him take his first steps. I won’t be there for anything. He won’t know me…. Olivia will barely remember me in a few years. You will move on, my kids will have another father... they won’t even think about me.” He was so bitter, but he wasn’t that wrong. Those were all things that Claire feared. 

 

“No, Will…No… that’s wrong.” Claire tried to argue back but she couldn’t. The tears just started to flow and she sobbed hard. “Why did you even take that fucking case, Will? Why? It was her case… they called looking for her. You told me you took the case to undercut her. Because she left the firm or because she went back to her husband and stopped fucking you. If you would have just stopped and seen how stupid and childish it was… that you should have just let her have the case. I wouldn’t be having our second child alone.” Claire seethed and when she looked up Will was gone. 

 

She looked around the bathroom frantically. “Will…” She called out as pushed open the bathroom door and walked into their bedroom still calling his name. The bedroom was a disaster. Clothes, both Will’s and Claire’s, strewn around the room. Several used wine glasses were on the bedside table and Claire instantly started to feel sick. She had been drinking quite a bit in the last few weeks and the whole time she had been pregnant. “Fuck me…” She cursed as she instantly began to fear that there was some great damage already done to the last surprise Will had left her. 

 

She walked over to the bedside table and saw a picture of her and Will, surrounded by dirty wine glasses. They looked so happy in the photo. They were at some gala and Diane took the photo when she knew they weren’t looking. They were dancing, his hands were on her hips, his forehead resting against hers as they were laughing about something. It was before their split, before Alicia. When she thought everything was perfect. Claire sighed as she picked up the glasses and decided to do what she knew was right. Pull herself together and get Olivia back home. 

 

As she carried the glasses to the kitchen she walked past a half dozen family photos that were scattered across their home. Photos of Olivia through the years. Claire and her siblings at Christmas. Will and his sisters as kids. It wasn’t until she caught a glimpse of her favorite photo that hung outside of Olivia’s bedroom did she stop. It was Will, asleep on the couch in his office with Olivia asleep on his chest. It was late afternoon after he had been in court all morning and was in one of his favorite suits. Olivia was maybe a year, year and a half old at the time. Wearing a pair of footie PJs with ducks all over them. Her hand resting on his cheek as he had his arms wrapped protectively around her. “I’m so sorry you will never get to meet him…” Claire mumbled as she glanced down at her stomach. “He would have loved you so much… your sister was his world…” 

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to comment, while I am writing this story more for myself, I am curious about what other people think. 
> 
> I do my best to respond to all comments.


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